


No Use

by FeverToWrite



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012)
Genre: Brain Damage, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Injury Recovery, TMNT
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-09
Updated: 2017-07-22
Packaged: 2018-10-30 04:26:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 28,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10869084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeverToWrite/pseuds/FeverToWrite
Summary: Something's wrong with Donnie. They saved him, fixed him...But he's still not responding.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This fic will be a few chapters long, and I hope you enjoy it. If you do, please don't hesitate to leave a review!

"It's cold out there, Mikey! Where do you think, you're going?" Leonardo yelled, watching his brother grab a coat. Mike put it on himself, struggling to get it bypass his shell, and once he did his gaze hardened.

 

"I'm going where we should've gone a week ago,!" Michelangelo yelled, he held his face with bitterness. He'd never thought he'd find himself fighting his big brother― his _leader_ ― with such frustration. He let out a breath he had been holding under unknown subconscious, something he did when he was irritated.

 

"I'm going to go save Donnie." He stood, shoulders squared, confident over himself.

 

"I-I know, we know that Shredder has Donnie right now… But it's snowing out there! We're cold blooded, Mikey! We can die from this weather!" Leo told him, grabbing Mikey by his wrist, and Leo struggled to remain calm, "I don't want anyone else to be captured or killed." He kept his tone hushed, eyes tainted with grief and concern. The two brothers' blue eyes locked in a gaze.

 

Mikey paused for one quick stare, setting his brother's expression in a reflection through his own. "I rather look for our brother instead of knowing he's dead― alone. I want Don to at least know we tried, Leo!" A harsh tug of the wrist and the once strong held grip collapsed on the release.

 

"I'm _leaving_."

* * *

   
"I – Sensei, this isn't working. All I want is to have Donnie back, and stupid meditation isn't going to bring him back, or resolve my anger." Raphael shoulders slouch, and he gazed at his legs then up to Splinter. He knows that he nearly got himself killed trying to get Donnie during the past week, but Donnie still wasn't home. He would get himself killed any day, only if it meant that Donnie would be home, _safe_.

 

Raphael's green eyes held so much sadness, and anger towards Shredder, that Master Splinter saw the reflection of himself in those eyes. He, too, wanted vengeance when Tang Shen was killed by the Shredder, but it wasn't the answer. And as much as Splinter wanted his son back – if Don wasn't killed – he would go in a heartbeat.

 

"Raphael, my son. Your brothers and you have tried, twice, to bring back Donatello. You three would not last, especially in battle when your muscles are more tensed due to the weather. My son, I understand what you are going through, because Donatello _is_ my son." Splinter placed his hand on his son's shoulder, not bringing up the reckless stunt Raph tried doing. Footbots and snow is what resulted in Donnie's capture, and Raph almost was killed by the same thing.

 

"Master Splinter –" Raph stopped talking mid-sentence as he heard his siblings argue. Splinter's ears drew up to listen. His gaze hardened, and he grabbed his cane.

 

"Come on, Raphael." Splinter urged, nearly running out of the dojo with Raph behind his heels to see what the commotion was about. Especially since it was always _him_ that would fight, not Mikey.

* * *

The sudden concerned murmurs of Raphael and his Master Splinter echoed through the lair. Before Leo could calm Mike, he turned to his heels, hiding his concerned away, and halted by the entrance. Michelangelo only stared at the darkness that coated the tunnels ahead. His mind started fighting a second thought. He drew a breath inwards and, as he turned to his brother once more, he set it in bittersweet release.

 

"I'll be back, Leo, I promise. I can take care of myself." He looked at his brother in comfort, his voice hushed and his eyes twinkling with hope. Hope that Leo had trust the night Donnie has disappeared.

 

"Trust me."

 

He said nothing. Leo wasn't sure what happened to Mikey this past week. Ever since Shredder took their genius brother into his captivity, he found Mike as being impatient, yet mature. The past week there was no giggles, or Dr. Prankenstein or Mikey being _Mikey_. Mike avoided the lab at all costs when he used to always go bug Donnie there, and now without Donnie, Mikey wasn't the same. No one was.

 

And the leader wasn't afraid to confess his eagerness to bring his brother back into their small makeshift home, but he just couldn't take his remaining two bros' outside; both the weather and Shredder's goons can kill them. He already failed one brother― he wasn't about to lose what little family he had.

 

His little brother's calmness put Leo in a state of surprise - his brother never had this level of maturity before… His baby blue eyes held a reassurance of his safe return that almost convinced him. Looking his brother with newly fresh respect, all the leader could do was nod. He watched his brother dash within the distant fogs in a blink of an eye.

 

And even as Mikey took a dash to defiantly save their brother, Leo had to follow him. He didn't know what he was thinking, Mikey can't just go alone… But Mikey's agility was the best, and Leo had halted, because Mikey disappeared in sight; the icy water now sat under his feet, but he stayed there for a few seconds. Master Splinter and himself have said not to go, and even if Mikey did, he couldn't go after him.

 

Leo turned to see both Splinter and Raph staring at him with wide eyes. Splinter threatened to leave their warm home, but Leo raised a hand up to stop him. And Leo glanced at the tunnel ahead one last time, a whisper delegated his lips and his mouth shifted to a wintry breath.

 

"Be safe…"

* * *

"Where the heck did Mikey go?" Raph asked, and his eyes showed all his anger. Leo did not just let his baby brother go out alone where he could be captured just like Donnie.

 

"He…" Leo lost his words, he should have stopped Mikey. He should have shaken his head, not nod. He doesn't want to lose two of his younger brothers in less than a month, _less_ than two weeks. "He went after Donnie." He finally choked out, feeling the sudden nausea and a wave of dizziness hit him. Donnie's been assumed dead after a week with the Shredder…

 

Shredder wouldn't want his enemy alive, especially one of Splinter's son. If he could take Karai away from Splinter, Shredder had no problem doing the same with their brother. But instead of raising him as his own, he would've want him killed in an instinct, but Leo tried to push that away. He clung to the smallest piece of hope he had left.

 

"You wouldn't let me go after Donnie, but you let Mikey?!" Raph shouted, jabbing his finger against Leo's chest. Anger spreading all over him, leaving his face with a red flush.

 

Leo raised his hands up as a defense, and he looked at Splinter for help, but their Sensei stroked his beard. Splinter wanted to know why he let him go too.

 

"Raph you almost threatened the mission and nearly got yourself killed. Mikey… I don't know, okay? I know he can take care of himself, and it's almost seven PM, the Foot doesn't come out this early." Leo told him, but he still felt his stomach churn. He should call him, bring him back home. It wasn't safe out there. One brother was gone, and he didn't want it to be two…

 

Leo pushed Raph aside before Raph can speak, and he pulled his T-Phone to dial Mikey. The infamous ringtone they all had, rung on the couch, the phone vibrating until it fell to the ground. Leo sighed both from anger and tiredness, Mikey forgot his phone…

* * *

 "Man, it's cold." Mikey shivered, going to a kneeling position and he crossed his arms over his chest to keep himself warm. Unfortunately, being a mutant turtle came with its disadvantages; all in all, the reason why Leo refused to let him, as well as Donnie, leave for the chilly topside. But Don being Don, stubborn as always, has reassured he was only going to the junkyard for less than two hours.

 

That was a week ago―

 

When three hours passed, worry started to sink into more than just his afterthoughts. Donatello was never late, and if he was, he would've called. Leo had thought his brother was distracted by all the junk and decidedly went out himself that same night to find him. All to be found was a broken Bo. The rest was speculation.

 

When their leader returned to the lair, he unwillingly told them of the news; someone had taken their brother, and all fingers pointed to the Shredder like clockwork.

 

The same night the blizzard came and started raining its dismays upon the city and the eldest warned his two remaining brothers it was dangerous to go out with the storm. The cold made their muscles more tensed and can take all their lives to save one.

 

They tried a rescue mission, but it failed miserable. And it left them with lost hope; there was nothing they can do.

 

Mikey was fed up waiting, his brother, possibly dead or gravely injured, was in the hands of their arch nemesis. He couldn't just wait, it wasn't that simple. Donnie was his best friend, and he couldn't live without him.

 

After waiting for another sign of Operation: Rescue Donnie, it never occurred, and Mikey finally had the guts to go for himself.

 

Thoughtlessly, Michelangelo was beginning to regret the idea. The icy winds of the somber night were starting to get to him and his muscles caved into unintentional shivering. Only being out for a good short thirty minute, Mike turned to a second thought. Maybe he should've paid more attention to his brother's cautions.

 

― But Donnie…

 

Even if he did find his brother, he would already be too frostbitten, _too cold_ , to fight for his freedom. He was about to turn back in defeat. His thoughts now pointed him home― but then a scream.

 

"Huh―!" At first, he thought he was imagining it, daunting his ears clear to assure himself he wasn't just feverish from his unnatural weather condition. But when numerous cries, sprouted by several people followed, his suspicions were confirmed.

 

Mike let his non-bearing imagination run to conclusions.

 

_Thugs?_ He guessed. _Gunman?_ A possibility. _Killer Mutant Chicken Nugget with Laser Fingers?_ Well it was nothing out of the ordinary for his standards. He turned to his heels and followed the noise, using the snow tainted rooftops as his own makeshift runway. He didn't look back― he didn't flinch― despite how rough the thicket of wind blew on his cheeks. As he was certain that he reached his destination, he was quick to look on instant, and he wished he hadn't been.

 

His heart skipped a beat.

 

_Oh my god, that can't be him_ … Michelangelo thought, and he leaned forward to get a better look. He gazed down on the colorful streets of Christmas lights, cars coated with light blankets of snow on their hoods, he saw his brother.

 

His _missing_ brother, in the middle of the street.

 

"Donnie―" Mikey gasped out, reeling away from the ledge with a small fumble of his footing. He needed to get down there. _Now_. Mikey placed his hand on his belt pocket, immediately ready to speed dial that he found their missing brother, but all Mike felt was the icy air.

 

"The one time I forget my phone, and I need it…" Mikey rolled his eyes at himself, annoyed. He usually brings everything with him before going on patrol, but this was a last-minute thing.

 

Mike, then, turned to the fire escape and without hesitation, ran thoughtlessly into a jump, landing on the snow topped alleyway. He can get Donnie out of there himself…

 

As he made his way to the clearing of the hallowed back alley, he was cautious on making sure he was hidden.

 

Donnie might be injured, or delusional, or – or Mikey didn't want to think of anything bad. He'll be useless if he wastes such petite time.

 

Cars, which trapped themselves as trafficked, blared with the rambunctious muses of honking. People of all ages and citizenry screamed with their shrill cries haunting the December air. Even a few people, brave enough to even face the limping turtle, held whatever baggage they had in their hands and deemed it a weapon. In short, it wasn't pretty.

 

Mike timidly hid behind the wall, overhearing the plastered clicks of heels rushing past him, hearing the squeals of two runaway cars attempting to skid to a halt before they crashed into one another. The turtle muttered a quick curse under his breath. How was he going to get his brother out of there?

 

The answer came natural: stealth.

 

Mikey's eyes delved themselves into a deeper shade of white as he then started to crouch, waiting. He watched people lashing their cellphones out and calling 911 ― calling the police in news that there was a freak in the middle of the street. The name would've made Mikey cringe if it wasn't a label both he and his entire family had constantly to bear. Taking a deep inwards breath, he bolted in haste to an empty car and lowered himself once again. He waited for more people to leave before he made a lasting sprint to the other side.

 

"Donnie?" Mikey whispered as he walked, still in a crouching position.

 

Donatello didn't hear him, his eyes were too busied with looking at their surroundings, hobbling in his footsteps while he grasped tightly at his head. The lucid turtle only stared momentarily at the chaotic scene around him before he turned to retreat his head once more. Mikey rolled to the other side of the street, landing himself nearer to his brother as he sent a whisper of his name ― this time, harsher.

 

"Donnie!"

 

As view of the svelte turtle became more vivid, realization made its stroke. There was something wrong. But Michelangelo had only a lean window of time to grasp. It wasn't before long when the muffled ringing of sirens had caught his attention. Glancing up at the looming sky, Mikey shut his eyes and mumbled.

 

"There's no time for stealth."

 

He moved. Jumping, Mikey ran in the street and tore himself through the open. He took sight of the hand that nursed his head and grabbed his brother's lanky arm before lugging him away from the scene, his legs moving in a wild sprint. The police, he could feel them just behind his tail. He prayed in desperation he wouldn't get caught… Splinter would kill them if they were on the news.

 

He rushed them both towards the nearest manhole and, without thinking, he took hold of the steel lid's frostbitten edges and tore it away from its place in heavy motions. As his legs moved past the entrance way, Mikey brought his brother's arm over his shoulder, taking most of his weight, and jumped in the manhole.

* * *

 "Donnie!" Mikey started yelling as he gently slid his brother from his shoulders. The murmured dripping of water loudly ricochet in the sewers.

 

"Dude, what were you thinking? You know―!"

 

He paused for a moment of hard turned silence. His anger trickled and his blue eyes hardened in command. Why wasn't he answering? A twist in his gut, coarse and vile, turned what was left of his irritation into dust. The underground lighting made all object dark but, through trained vision, he saw little details of his brother's condition. He didn't like it.

 

Donatello stood with his body slumped and barely able to retain any stance. His usually vivid hazel eyes were let dim with his eyelids in tight discomfort of pain. But not once did he ever look his brother in the eye― he gaped at if he was a stranger. The arm that Mikey had let go of was clutching to a spot of his head for dear life. His body tensed in his swaying strengths as his dense breaths lingered about. Mikey, on instinct, removed his coat and placed it over Donnie's coarse shell instead.

 

"Don?" He touched his hand, jerking away instantly. There was something sticky on his fingers.

 

"How… did you escape…?"

 

Nothing.

 

Something isn't right. Something was wrong― very wrong.

 

Michelangelo took an unwilling glance over his brother's body. Cuts, gashes and scars created blood wounds that marred his body in scars― spectacles of open flesh disfigured his body from the neck down and stained crimson tints on his weather worn coat. He didn't look right. Maybe it was the blood lost, yeah― he was just feeling a little lightheaded…

 

Mikey let his hands hesitate in front of his body carefully. Unsure what to do, he wasn't a doctor, he didn't know where to begin.

 

"O-Okay, let's just get you home and bandage you up." Mikey said, but his voice was held with so much insecurity. "Wouldn't want April seeing ya with all those scars, right? A Turtle's gotta look his best for the ladies…!" Mikey tried to tease at him, but it did no aid. His brother's empty gaze just stared at the wall, like he was unaware of Mikey's presence.

 

He stared down at himself in discomfort, but only grew more anxious when he looked at his own fingers he used to touch Donnie's hand – the same one his brother used to clutch his head. It was covered in blood― a large amount of blood.

 

Wait…

 

Mikey skimmed where his brother was grasping, his head. Something that Mikey didn't seem to think too much about, and he hadn't realized the reason Donnie was clutching to it. Mikey slightly tilted his head, his cognitive mind repeating in prayers that it was just a small cut like the rest of his brother's wounds, but… it wasn't.

 

It was a large dent which severed a hole in his brother's skull, a mixture of open flesh and detached bone compiled in a mess of blood. The markings of three silver blades has caused the wound and set the turtle in mental paralysis. The metallic scent of his brother's blood tormented a nauseating feel through his stomach that made Mikey wishing he haven't seen it.

 

_Oh shell, oh shell, oh shell…_

 

Michelangelo didn't even think twice as he unsteadily removed the knot of his own mask, quickly balling it up with shaking fingers and pressing it on the flesh wound in haste. As if it would help. He lobbied his arm around his shoulder and ran with no clear certainty that his hold was kept firm.

 

His running turned into a jog, his brother's knees buckled loosely and retained, collapsing under his weight, making Mikey waste precious time. In both frustration and fear, Mikey came to a halt of his movements and pulled Donnie's arms over his shell. Bending over, he gathered his brother's legs and began to carry him to the lair.

 

Under his brother's weight, he gasped for breath, his legs begged to collapse, though his mind spoke out otherwise. He wasn't sure how long he was carrying the semi-conscious turtle. But, when he felt Donnie's head plop onto his shoulder, he turned his head over for a quick moment's peek. He found his injured brother's eyes lightly closed into a state of unconsciousness.

 

Mikey forcefully carried Don's dead weight to the lair as the strength in his legs buckled under him. Don's going to be okay― Don's going to be okay. He just needs to take him to the lair and the guys could patch him up.

 

Like Donnie always did for them.

* * *

   
"Leo!"

 

"Erg… Raph…!" The hoarse cry of desperation rang through his throat like sandpaper as he entered the lair.

 

"Help― I need help!" He cried before he felt the tremble of his strength collapsing, his knees dropping to the cold surfaced floor.

 

The sound of rush footsteps came to his aid. A bittersweet sensation of relief coursed through him. They all came in less than a minute, and Mikey hadn't realized they've been in the common area chatting.

 

"Mikey!"

 

"Donnie!"

 

"My sons!"

 

He felt the heavyweight of his brother's body slide from his arms. A firm hand took a hold of his arm and pulled him up.

 

"What happened?" Leo asked as more of a concerned demand rather than a question, "How did you―?"

 

"I found him on the streets, he's bleeding a lot. Guys, we need to go help him!" He shouted, slightly shaking from being outside of the cold for too long. Leo placed a hand over his youngest brother's shoulder and in turn, heard the sprinting of his father and brother, rushing towards the lab for any medical supplies they could gather.

 

"Donnie doesn't look so good." Mikey added, following Leo as he tugged his arm to the bathroom. He watched as Leo turned the water on, making sure it was warm and good enough for use.

 

"You don't look so good either―" Leo answered back as he helped him take off his gear. His younger brother was being taken care of. Splinter knows what to do― he always does― and Raph is there to help him.

 

Donnie will be fine…

 

"But Donnie's different! He looks like he was beaten for days! He's so skinny and bleeding and hurt. I didn't even think twice before grabbing him! I could've hurt him ― shell, he's bleeding everywhere!" Mikey broke out in a cry as Leo, almost forcefully, drove him to the tub. Mikey hesitated with the offer, his only thoughts of his older brother's safety currently in his mind, but entered nonetheless. Leo gave him a look of assurance, but he was lost inside.

 

"Donnie's going to make it through, Mikey. Our brother is strong." Leo told him, concealing his worry with a faint smile. His lips were barely tugged, and as much as Mikey wanted to believe him, there was something wrong.

 

"Leo, you don't understand-!"

 

"I'm trying to, Mikey. I'm worried about our brother too, but panicking isn't going to help. Master Splinter and Raph is aiding Donnie as we speak." Leo told him delicately, grabbing a sponge as he began to scrub his brother's shell. He struggled to scrub the large amount of Donatello's blood tainted on Mikey. "They'll know what to do, I promise." He added as he poured warm water on his sibling's body. Mike shivered, but did not protest. As the bath ended, he turned off the stream of running water so only a dripping of droplets was left.

 

Mikey grabbed a towel and carefully tiptoed his way out of the tub. He stood stubbornly as he dried himself.

 

"Leo…" Mikey murmured, his eyes filled with solemn grief. He was going to cry; the adrenaline was dying off and it left him in a puddle of apprehensive.

 

"We're going to help him." Leo said, but his voice was thick with lies. He didn't even know what condition Donnie was in. Leo opened the door, wanting to leave to hide his emotions and he turned to his heels, nearly leaving the youngest to pamper.

 

"Wait, Leo, before you go I have to tell you something―"

 

Leonardo turned; a raised eye dabbled with concern. "What is it, Mikey?" Leonardo asked softly.

 

Michelangelo only stood, dwindling with his water dripped feet, and tracing the line of water droplets slowly falling on the ground. His head lowered, tone dull with tints of an injecting chill, as he whispered.

 

"It's gone…"

 

Leo's eyes were glazed with worry, mouth agape as he managed to stutter. "W-What's _gone_ , Mikey?"

 

Mikey's eyes watered, and he used his towel to wipe the tears. Mikey suddenly looked so lost, and Leo's worry grew.

 

"Mikey." Leo hissed, anger toppling over his worry.

 

"Donnie…" Mikey managed to sputter, eyes lost. His hands tighten on the grasp of his towel. "His _mind_."


	2. Chapter 2

Leo was at loss for words.

 

The words echoed among his mind. He kept staring at Mikey, looking for a way to deny his words. He tried to speak, but his tongue was too big for his mouth. He wouldn't say anything― he couldn't.

 

As a leader and an older brother, he didn't have a choice to avoid the harsh truths in life. He had to accept them, and he always did. Shredder couldn't break him, the Kraang were no match for his leadership and trained determination.

 

And yet, it only took those two words to hit him without remorse or effort.

 

Leonardo scrunched up his face, the disbelief in his eyes showing in his vivid denial. Drawing in a hastily breath, he stammered.

 

"We're going to help him, Mikey… We'll patch him up, and our brother is going to be fine."

 

His words were so full of lies. He sounded so sure of himself, but Donnie wasn't going to be fine. A million words― a thousand thoughts― filled his mind, but he couldn't take the counseled thought to register them as he shut the bathroom door behind him. Leo blinked almost wildly. The sudden feeling of sweat released a coldly dribble from his forehead, a nauseated sensation was sent about his, clutching at him bitterly.

 

Don isn't himself ― he didn't want to believe it. He chose not to believe it. He needed evidence –proof. Mikey was just saying those things. The moment's trauma was just getting to his innocent mind and striking him with worse case scenarios. Their brother's injury can't be that serious…

 

He hoped.

 

Maybe, just maybe, Don was just in a shock. His terrible shape would only be temporary; his distorted condition won't last him long. He was Donatello. He was the brains of the team ―the mind behind his brothers' brawn. His far intelligent mind was everything that made him who he was…

 

Wait…

 

Leo's heart skipped a beat. He tried to refuse the cold fact that strangled him helplessly, but felt no ease at the pit of his stomach. Realization took him by the throat.

 

He knew deep down that Mikey was right.

* * *

 

Taking a deep breath, the leader in blue paced his way to the laboratory. An uneasy feeling twisted his stomach into knots, hitched with uncertainty.

 

As he pursed his lips, he withdrew a breath of sewer scented air, preparing for the worst to come. A three-fingered hand was set on the doors distinct handles. Slowly, he opened the doors to his brother's laboratory, ill prepared for the worst. The heavy metallic ring of steel skimming concrete stung the atmosphere harshly and forced the leader to cringe at the noise.

 

As soon as he entered the laboratory, the first thing that met him was the gross, scent of mortified blood, twisting his gut raw and nauseated. A fire set hold within his stomach, tantalized with his throat, begged him to gag. In a struggling gulp, he forced the vile temptation away.

 

Quietly, he turned his attention to his pale brother: his dead-looking brother. He acted as if any sudden movement would cause the fragile hearth of his nursing to shatter. He took a few steps towards him, his eyes closely examining the body of his sibling left frail and weak. Half of his right arm was wrapped in a condense gauze that intertwined around his skin. His eyes were closed so peacefully, so eased, they were anguished to no feeling.

 

Master Splinter stood mending his left side with delicate shifts of his hand, carefully moved from one wound to the next. On the gashes, he nursed were coated glades of crimson that tinted his wounds, noting that an infection had settled in vain.

 

"How is he?" Leo asked, almost darkly. The eldest barely saw Donatello's chest heaved upwards― he ever so slightly heard his struggled breathing. His weakened lungs could hardly support the supply of air that seeped into his system at each breath.

 

Mikey was right, he looked terrible. He was beaten, that was for sure, and what matter was worse was that he had endured days of captivity under the Foot Clan. He was probably abused, beaten, starved to malnourishment despite the Shredder's coldness until he was released into the open streets.

 

The damaged state of his body could only indicate signs of Shredder's work. His head was punctured with three wounds of a signature gauntlet, gruesomely, as if Shredder hadn't done enough to make his brother suffer, as if ending his misery then was too merciful of an act.

 

To Leonardo's relief, his brother was alive; but that didn't make the condition better. Somehow, it only made him feel worse. His azure eyes turned away, casting to his hotheaded brother in hopes that he was doing better than he was. He wasn't doing well either.

 

In fact, he was worse. With his emerald green eyes holding an uneasy cringe, he held his body stiff as if any wrong move would cause him to collapse. His face was masked with an expression that tried holding in tears that drew up from the corners of his eyes. His posture slumped grudgingly as all he could do was hold a gaze at his sensei in hopes that his care would bring any silver lining.

 

For the first time, he was weak- nauseated at the bitter scent of metallic blood. In his hands was the bottle of alcohol that they would use to prevent any other infection from entering the wound. The distasteful scent danced horridly with the metallic musing of blood that came off his brother – his very hands. The sickly odor only made him queasy.

 

_I never thought I would see Raph like this…_

 

The leader's eyes traveled to his Master. He withdrew a breath. "How is he?" He asked, more firmly making his father turn to look at him, wise magnolia eyes meeting his blue ones.

 

"Donatello was critically injured from the Shredder." Splinter told the obvious, concealing the truth as his eyes turned back to his task, wrapping his son's shoulder securely.

 

"I-I know that, but… is he going to live?" Leonardo swallowed a lump in his throat, seeing the weariness on his father's eyes, his expression laced with concern.

 

"Your brother had lost a lot of blood, I am thankful he is still breathing. –But yes, with constant supervision, he will be fine. He's in a fragile state right now, a blessing that Michelangelo was able to find him before he was…" Splinter let his words fall. He did not dare to finish his sentence; there was no need to. With his gaze withdrawing, he closed his eyes momentarily.

 

Leo stood in uneasy silence, unsure what to say, of what to do. He kicked himself for not learning any medical procedures from Donnie. He could've helped his brother. If he had just listened to him while he had the chance, he could've done more. But he didn't. He just watched as Splinter kept giving orders to Raphael, who was beginning to shake his head.

 

"I'm sorry Sensei, but I don't feel good." Raph murmured, his guard dropping. He instantly took his free hand and drew it to his beak to cover it from the nauseous scent around him.

 

Master Splinter only nodded in understanding, "You may leave." He said quietly, his focus set on stitching the wound on Donnie's shoulder.

 

Raphael's expression perked from his nauseous daze, his voice rose in denial. "But Sensei, I have to stitch his head!" He protested, the nausea forgotten. "I should leave aft-"

 

"Leonardo will do it." Splinter said, cutting him off. "Rest my son, you've done what you could." Splinter told him, placing a paw on the hothead's tensed shoulder as he gently pushed his son to start walking. Raphael was at first stern at keeping his place although he gave into his father's order seconds later. For once, he didn't want to start up a fight. But that didn't mean he was going to leave so simply.

 

"I've stitched my own wounds before, I can do Donnie's, Sensei let me –"

 

"Enough!" Splinter stopped him bitterly, and Raph quieted. "Raphael, it will be no good if you are sick, my son. The head is the most difficult, Leonardo will do it." He said, almost emotionless. "Rest." He demanded, and Raph didn't want to anger his father more and left the lab with hesitation.

* * *

Leo perked his head upwards, his expression solemn as he stared at Don's body. It was almost lifeless. "Sensei, I can't stitch Donnie's head, what if I mess up?" He asked, almost as if he was afraid. He didn't think he could handle this. His voice began to shake as insecurity rose within him. He couldn't possibly stitch a limb, definitely not a head. It was too fragile of a member for him to even dabble with. It was everything that Donnie was.

 

"My son, we are not doctors. We all make mistakes, and the stitching does not have to be perfect, it only has to close the wound." Splinter didn't need to look up, he grabbed the white gauze and began to wrap it around his shoulder. He then placed a paw on Donnie's forehead, as if he was feeling for any sign of life, before he began gently rolling the fragile turtle on his stomach.

 

Leo took a glance at the wound on Donnie's head. His expression tipped into a near scowl as he set sights on the fresh blood that coated over the dried. He could see the hallowed whites of bone, cracked, as if it were a plate shattered into pieces. "I never stitch any limbs before, so stitching a head… I don't want Don to wake up and seeing gaps of small holes from my mistakes." Leo whispered, wishing he could just cover the wound on the head like it was never there. But it wasn't that simple.

 

"You were always afraid of making a mistake, my son. But I promise you, Leonardo, the wound simply has to close, it does not have to be perfect." Splinter placed a paw on Leonardo's shoulder, "Your brother would be thankful to see that you have helped him." The old rat added turned around, holding onto a small needle with thread loosely hanging from its silver base. Leo stared at it with hesitation before he took the needle from his father's grip, clutching it with trembling hands.

 

He looked as Splinter applied and dabbed alcohol onto the head's wound, cleaning out the blood around it. Leonardo took a big gulp. He knew that if they were humans, Don would've been sent to the hospital with professionals caring for his wounds. They would be able to fix the broken skull; they could fix the trauma on his head. His brother would've been okay. But he wasn't a doctor- he didn't have a PHD or a single degree. Leo only knew the basics of medical care, but his father was relying on him…

 

Licking his lips, the leader hovered himself over his brother with a steady gaze to his head. Shaking, he pricked the needle placidly into the skin. He grimaced at how easily the needle entered. Leo pulled the needle carefully and kept a watchful eye on the wound as two flaps of skin drew to a close. He was doing it. Leo brought the needle back and coursed it into his skin, a cringe coming to his expression when he noticed the uneven angle of the prickle and pulled it out once more. He looked to see his progress.

 

There was a small hole in the stitching- a mistake that he created. He chose to ignore it- he had to ignore it. He continued onwards, prick by prick he continued with the monotonous pattern with his body tensed into focus. He took the task with fragile diligence that he dare not break. He could handle training runs around the whole Westside, rigorous battles that lasted for hours, but this one mere task of stitching a wound- it drove him into exhaustion. He didn't know why. He felt himself sweating but all he could do was cast the thought aside.

 

With one last pull, Leo watched the last of his sowing draw to a close. Leonardo wiped off the beads of sweat dribbled with his forearm, securing the last of the stitches with a knot. He pulled the needle from the thread and placed it back onto the silver tray that sat by him.

 

"I'm done, Sensei." Leo took a glance at his finished product and cringed. This was worse than he thought. The wound was securely closed, but it was a mess. Often, he could spot tiny holes that kept the wound revealed from its sewing. The pattern he had set on the stitching was uneven and scattered from place to place, unclean. He messed up. It was too late to fix it now. But he closed the wound, right? It was all that mattered right now, despite of the dent of awkward sowing on his head…

 

"Very good, my son." Splinter's eyes peered to Donatello's shell, cracked in different areas and making it look like a mess of patterns and cracks. A cracked shell wasn't a good one. All Master Splinter could do was use Epoxy and hope for the best –but his head… The rat prayed that Donatello retained no serious brain damage, no problems when he woke up.

 

"When Donatello awakes, you or your brothers will have to stay with him until he is okay once again. I will be meditating" Splinter told him, washing his hands placidly to relieve it of the blood that stained it.

 

"Hai Sensei." Leo whispered, staring at Don one final time, as if he was never going to see his brother again.

* * *

"Raph let me see what's going on." Mikey pleaded, taking the towel from his head and tossing it to the side. He was going to see his brother even if it was the last thing he'd do.

 

"No way little bro, when I say do not go in there, I mean it. I'm doing this for your own good!" Raph told him with his arms crossed. He guarded Mikey's entrance to the lab firmly, stubbornly. Unfortunately for him, Mikey was stubborn too.

 

"I'm not that young compared to you guys! I already saw how bad Donnie was hurt! Just let me see him!" The mask less turtle cried out in anger, fear. His orange mask was too dampened with blood for him to wear but he didn't feel in a hurry to clean it.

 

"Mikey, can't you see that Donnie's not okay? I want to behead Shredder as we speak! I don't want you to see Donnie's wounds!" Raph raised his voice, his hands tensing and Mikey, almost calmly, touched his shoulder.

 

"Don't lose hope, Raphie." Mikey told him, but he was slowly losing hope as he spoke. "Donnie's a tough turtle, like you would say!" He smiled, wanting to calm his brother down. They already had one down, he didn't need it to be two. "When the snow's gone, brah. We have to wait, we can't just march into Shredder's throne."

 

When Raph didn't answer, Mikey felt his brother's shoulders sag, and he turned his head away. His fists trembled, Mike wasn't sure if it was the anger, sadness, or both. Mikey wanted to change the topic about the Shredder, Donnie was more important.

 

"Raph… Do you think Donnie will be okay?"

 

Raph turned to look at his younger brother, his eyes casting down, and even after saying losing hope, he wouldn't show it; "I hope so, little bro. I want you to wait until they finish patching Donnie up." Raph said, his voice becoming more calm. "I feel like to puke."

 

Mike wrapped his arm around Raph, the innocent thoughts swatting away and leaving him with a bitter negativity. It wasn't Mike to think like that, and he pushed anything that allowed him to be sad. He should be hopeful.

 

"Alright, Raph." Mike said, eyes drawing up to meet Raph's. "I'll wait until they let me in. Just for you." His lips tugged to a smile, a smile of reassurance and Raph gave a smile back. His older brother left the common room to take a shower, and it left Mikey sitting on the couch, waiting.

* * *

 

Mikey had only waited ten minutes until Leo opened the doors. He zoomed in to the lab in fast pace, expecting Donnie to be smiling and awake. Except, that didn't happen. His brother was still sitting upright, his head leaned back against the pillow as he appeared dead. The only reason Mikey could tell that he was still alive was the withered breathing that heaved his chest.

 

Disappointment and sorrow curved his lips into a frown. His excited sprinting gradually turned to a hesitant walk, almost as if he was going up to a podium at a funeral, giving a speech for his lost loved one. He came close to the unmoving turtle as his steps swayed fearfully to a sudden halt.

 

"He hasn't woken up, yet?" Mikey asked, his hand brushing his brother's forearm gently.

 

"We had to drug him so he wouldn't feel the pain, he should be waking up soon." Leo told him with a soft ring to his tone, nudging him lightly. "We stitched all his wounds, and he's all patched up. He should be fine."

 

"I'm sorry Leo, somethings up, Don wouldn't be in the middle of the street for no reason. I'm telling you something's wrong." Mikey told him, crossing his arms. He knew he was right. Only, he wished he was wrong. He'd give up anything to be wrong about this one thing. He didn't want this for him. He never wanted Donatello, his genius of a brother, to be…different when he woke up.

 

"I think it was the blood lost." Leo told him bluntly. "We're not sure why Shredder let him go, but it's evident Donnie was acting a little weird. But other than that, I think he'll be fine." Leo turned to his heels, "hey, can you watch Don? Sensei wants someone in here. We can take turns and I'm going to make a snack, want any?"

 

"From you?" Mikey felt a smile creeping on his face, "I'll pass dude, I don't want my food to be all soggy or burnt." Mike made a light tease, receiving a glare from Leo.

 

"Oookay Mikey, just call me if you need anything." With that, the leader left the lab, leaving him alone with Donnie, a cold silence seeped to the lab once more.

 

Michelangelo sat on a chair close to Don, as he leaned his body back and looked at him with a watchful gaze. He expected his brother to wake up the moment he sat down, but his older brother was still asleep. A yawn surpassed Mikey's lips; sleep sounded good right now –But he couldn't. He had to watch his brother…

 

His eyes gradually turned to a close, his head beginning to sag from his spot. He tried to stay awake- for Donnie- but soon enough, his exhaustion started to take over, encompassing him into a light slumber.

* * *

 

 

Mike shot himself upwards, a gasp escaping him as he awoke.

 

Shell, he thought bitterly. He was supposed to be watching Donnie. Rubbing his eyes, he looked over at Don in the expectation that he would still be asleep. To his surprise, he wasn't. He nearly fell from his chair in shock and relief. Donnie was awake, but his attention was turned to the wall. He wondered how long Don had been sitting like this…

 

And why didn't he wake him up before?

 

"Hey Donnie!" Mikey greeted the turtle, a smile widening on his lips. "How are ya feeling?" He asked, anxious to know. But he received no answer. He frowned a little at the lack of response. It was just like when he pulled him from the streets.

 

"Bro? Don? Yoohoo. I'm over here, dude!" Mikey tilted his head and, soon enough, maroon eyes met his. Mike jerked backwards in a slight panic, rubbing his head. "Don, you scared me for a moment-"

 

He allowed a few seconds to run by. This wasn't Donnie. He would've at the least acknowledged him by now if he was okay. He felt his heart skipping a beat, his mind coming to the hard realization. No; it couldn't be. He couldn't be one to jump to conclusions too quickly. There had to be another reason why his brother wasn't answering him- why he had such a dazed look in his eyes. But it was true –he was right about what he said earlier.

 

"Oh shell…" Panic started creeping into the young turtle with no remorse nor subtly. His expression grimaced, terrified and worried. But all he could do was sit there.

 

Donnie would get better. Leo promised him he would.

 

But Don kept staring at nothing. The once genius and brilliant look in his eyes, vanished from air and replaced with a blank and lucid stare that only haunted him the more he looked. He showed no emotion- no concern or acknowledgement. His eyes were void of everything he once was but a glaze of unsheathe tears, like Don unrecognized this place –like he unrecognized his own brother.

 

Mikey felt like he was punched in the gut at the thought of it. He didn't even realize how hard he was sprinting out the door, his legs worked on an automatic, leaving his poor brother alone so that he could catch his breath. Something wasn't right about his brother. They should've –he should've- rescued him the same night he was captured. He shouldn't have listened to his older brother and stayed put after their last mission, they wouldn't be in this mess the first place.

 

Michelangelo bit his tongue in regret. No; he shouldn't dare think of Leo as a jerk- he isn't. Leo was doing what a great leader should do, he wanted to keep them both safe –but with the cost of one brother.

 

"Leo! R-Raph! Dad!" The mask less turtle took a deep breath as he heard the rush of footsteps. A sweet bitterness ran down his shell as the sounds sent a familiar memory. The noise of his family's aid and worry -the same noise that came to him when he was first collapsed to the ground with Donnie bleeding at his side.

 

"My son, are you alright?" Splinter spoke, placing his paws against his youngest to support him. Mikey couldn't look at his father's eyes, he had to tell him, but he knew how much it will hurt him – all of them. He couldn't even handle the news himself, how was he supposed to muster it within himself to tell them?

 

"Mikey, what's wrong?" Raphael began to speak up, voice etched in concern. As rude he can be, protecting his brothers was the most important thing. And yet, he failed to protect Don from the Shredder, but that doesn't mean he'll let Mikey slip off, not this time.

 

Mike stared at the floor, his eyes crystal with a coat of baby blue darkened. Usually, this would be the time where he cracked a few jokes, slipped a few comedic gestures. Normally, he would've been making a fool of himself on purpose to bring relief into the darkness of the situation. Not this time. "It's Don." He took careful breaths, looking up at his leader who silently stared at Mikey with a certain yet fearful look in his eyes. He could read them loud and clear of: don't tell me.

 

Mikey felt the grip of his shoulders loosen, he didn't need to finish. His father already made a dash towards Donatello, checking on him worriedly. Mike turned his head around for a quick second, catching the glance at the back of Donnie's head; a mess of bandages and gauze that tried to cover the incision. But Mikey could still see the stitches on top.

 

"My son…" Michelangelo closed his eyes when he heard the silken voice from across the lab. The beats of his brothers' footsteps sounded through the area like a hallowed drum as they rushed to their father in aid.

 

"What's wrong, Sensei?" Leo asked, feeling an uneasy knot on the pit of his stomach. He watched as his father grabbed hold onto Don's lanky arm, holding his hand in a tight grip. He had to sooth the turtle's fingers into the hold around his paws.

 

"Your brother. He is not responding, the injury on his head, it resulted into grave trauma. The way your brother is acting, and the critical injury may even lead to serious damage." He wanted to believe this was a dream. –But he knew it was not, all of them did. But no, this was not a twisted dream or nightmare they could wake from.

 

It was real from the terrified look in Donatello's eyes, to the mess of gauze coursed around his body- the shallow breathing of the four as horror bind them in place. The family's attention was set on Donatello, whose uneven breathing lingered. His fingers twitched in discomfort from the hold of his father had placed him in, but he did not protest.

 

Raphael felt his senses numbing, his knees collapsing from under him as well as his resolve. He grabbed a chair, trembling, and urged himself to sit down. Dryness caught his throat by force. Darkened tears pin-pricked the very corners of his eyes unsteady. It was burning him- the very urge to let out the tears that ached for release. But he held in.

 

With a deep breath, he began to ask through the heavy thicket of silence that surrounded them. "W…What do you mean by serious damage, Sensei. What type of damage?" He wanted to say, he seems fine to me, but he knew otherwise. By physical means, he really did seem fine. Other than the hideous sewing on his head, all his previous injuries were securely wrapped and cared for. But this was different – something they couldn't bandage up.

 

"The trauma on his head. Leonardo stitched up his wound, but I fear that Donatello may not be the same." Splinter spoke in a soft tone, his thumb pressed against his son's forehead as he rubbed the turtle's pale skin in circles. He was careful not to touch the freshly sowed stitches that melded his head as his fingers worked around it.

 

"We can help him, Sensei." Mikey re-entered the lab in protest. He eyed his two brothers, knowing how they'll deny his request. "Donnie can heal faster if we do!"A small smile plagued his face. He had hope- determination- despite the way Don was watching them quietly, seeing them as strangers he had never seen before. He hated that look, how unfamiliar it was.

 

"It is not as easy as you said, Michelangelo." The rat released Donatello's lose grip, placing his paws on his lap as he looked at his youngest with a sense of lost hope. "The head cannot easily be fixed, it will take some time. I am no doctor, and cannot jump to conclusions. We do not know if there is any damage inside the brain."

 

"Then we will wait. And we will see if Donnie does has brain damage or not." Mikey immediately responded, "Don was always here for us, he always waited, why not do it for him?" The smile on his face slowly resided into a small frown. He hated the way he was talked to. They always treated him like he was some child that didn't understood what was going on with the world. They didn't think that he quite got the gravity of the situation, but he did. He understood clearly. Donnie is damaged, and he's going to help.

 

He waited for Splinter to retort, or explain how the injuries have done some serious damaged to even bring his brother back good as new. But the way how his Master only nodded back -it took him by surprise. "Very well…" Splinter sighed, knowing how much this hurt his sons as it did for him.

 

"Michelangelo, as eager as you are, you are going to take first shift taking care of your brother." His master began as he started getting up from his place on the cot.

 

"Morning will be Leonardo, and afternoon Raphael. Your brother is in a grave condition, and with the lack of response, he will need to be fed, bathe and in need of assistance with the basic every day activities." His legs felt like noodles, insecure and ready to collapse dizzily, but he tried to handle the situation as melodically as possible – to soothe his sons through these trying times.

 

"I will be there if need of assistance." And before anyone could speak or go against his orders, he continued; "and if there is anything wrong, I will be in the dojo." Within a moment, he was already through the laboratories steel doors. The minute their father had left, all eyes turned to Don. The injured turtle toyed with his fingers with light twitches fidgeting his movements in restraint.

 

"You guys can leave…I can carry Don to his bedroom and put him to bed." Mikey waited for his brothers to listen so he can be alone with Don –but the moment never came.

 

"No way, little bro, you go get Don's bed set up, and I'll carry him there." Raph told him, crossing his arms as he impatiently stood high on his heels, waiting for his brother to follow his orders.

 

Mikey didn't seem to hesitate. He ran out the door to Donnie's room like he was told, leaving Raphael to his other brothers. "Not going to help, Fearless?" Raph eyed him with a frown, nearly scolding his brother.

 

"N-No, I'm going to sleep early, night Raph..." The leader walked out of the lab immediately and made his way to his bedroom. He could hear Mikey's fussing from there.

 

Raph could only stand dumbfounded for a moment as he blinked a few times until he remembered his task. Oh right; carrying his brother. Leo's attitude wasn't important right now, it was Donatello's care. The red clad turtle inched his way closer to Don –watching the silent turtle stop his movements as he peered to his side and eye Raphael with fear.

 

Raph felt his stomach tie to insecure knots. He's never seen Donnie so fearful before in his life. The thing that twisted him the most was that he wasn't staring into the eyes of a terrifying mutant or the cold gaze of the Shredder; but his own brother. It was as if he felt that Raph would hurt him. He couldn't blame Don though- this was all Shredder's fault; everything wrong with his life right now seemed to be his doing. He hated him – he hated him so much. His brothers were miserable because of him- Splinter had his life ruined because he just had to attack him that one fateful night. Someday, he was going to pay and when he did, it wouldn't be pretty, he promised.

 

He heard a weak whimper coming from the cot.

 

But that day wasn't today.

 

"Donnie-"Raph started soothingly, as gently as he could. When the turtle turned to look at him, when that fearful expression of maroon came to meet his emerald eyes, he flinched inwardly. This was not the time to back down. He was going to get Donnie to bed- he was going to make Donnie remember who he was- no matter what. "H-Hey buddy, it's Raph, you know who I am, right?" Raph saw his brother's muscles relax, even at its slightest, as he said his name.

 

"I'm going to carry ya to bed, okay?" He felt like he was talking to a child. He tried his best not to startle the injured turtle as he placed one hand to his shell and cupped the other under his knees.

 

Donnie held his breath as his body left the bed, his fingers digging deep onto Raphael's arms in fear of being dropped. "Donnie. It's okay-"

 

Slowly, the hothead began to move, his forearm under Don's head as he felt the uneven gauze on his head. But Raph paid no attention to that. He wanted his brother to be as comfortable as he could be- as little that could be in his current state. Walking up the three steps, and taking a turn to his right, Raph slowly opened the door to his bedroom.

 

"Ready Mike?" He watched his brother place a cup filled with water on Donnie's nightstand, as he nodded his head.

 

"I got everything set up." He told him, turning around to see Don's face hidden against Raphael's bulk of a body. He watched as Raph settled Don to the bed, draping the thicket blankets over him.

 

"As Sensei told you, if you need him, you need me." Raph didn't allow Mikey to speak before he left the room, striding to his own room across the hallway and entering. Mikey waited until he heard the soft click from his brother's bedroom door before turning his attention to Don.

* * *

  
"Hey Dee!" Mikey tried keeping a smile for his injured brother, but failed doing so when he didn't speak to him back. He knew he wasn't going to get an answer, but it would be nice to hear a response –especially since he hadn't seen his brother in a week.

 

Mikey gently climbed to the side, being gentle not to disturb him from his complacent spot on the bed. He laid on his side, an elbow propped against the hard mattress of bed as his palm rested against his cheek.

 

"You know Don, you can at least try to say a word back to me." Mikey clamped his mouth together in pleading. "Please?"

 

Silence was his only response.

 

"Well, buddy, do you want to sleep?" All the turtle did was stare at the wallowing mess of books and blueprints on the ground. His eyes were somehow glued to them, like he purposely was ignoring his baby brother. Mikey grunted in frustration, reeling his brother's lanky arms on the side, he instead placed them against his stomach.

 

Mikey scratched his head for a bit. Don looked uncomfortable. The pain of his previous injuries still seemed to be getting to him. He rolled his brother to the side, noticing his back hurting from the cracked shell. That didn't seem good.

 

-But Don was still awake, his eyes were widened with an outspoken curiosity- the same look Mikey would always see in those hazel lit eyes of his when they were little kids. It made him smile a little. He wrapped his arms around him, and heard no protests. Even if he couldn't answer back, Mikey began to speak to him, simplistic ranting, really. He began by telling him how it was for the past week, retelling Donnie things about himself.

 

Somehow, he even got to the topic of rambling on about the color purple. Something bright withstood within him as he talked on to his damaged audience of one. Tomorrow – tomorrow for sure – they were going to help him regain his old self. He recalled his Sensei telling him that it wouldn't be as easy as he thought, but he already knew that.

 

They've saved the world multiple times, traveled through time and space, done the impossible and things are beyond imagination- so why couldn't they do this? For the next few days, it wouldn't be easy- or as long as Donnie was going to act like this. But he knew they could do it.

 

He had hope.

 

The genius terrapin was finally closing his eyes, his hand flying up to grab Mikey in a loose hold before a blissful slumber took over him.

 

As his brother fell into sleep, he couldn't help but stare at the mess of gauze and blood that seeped from his head. It felt nauseating to him just to look at it; imagining what kind of trauma it did to his brother was a feeling that sat even worse. This was going to feel like a never-ending nightmare.

 

Mikey wasn't one to pick favorites but, out of all his brothers, Donnie was the one who stuck with him the most. Even through the countless pranks he's pulled, he would still stick with him. As the two youngest, they were practically inferior to Leo and Raph, which made them a bond of their own. They were complete opposites and yet they were a great pair- they were the B-Team. Things wouldn't be the same without him by his side. If what he said was true- if Donnie really was gone…

 

No. Don will be okay. He must be.

 

With a small regretful sigh, Mikey closed his eyes and leaned himself towards his brother –feeling the abnormal cracks on his shell as a reminder his brother was damaged. He was hurt, he was broken. But that wasn't going to stop Mikey from helping his brother back to his old self.


	3. Chapter 3

Mikey opened the door, balancing the comics on his hand, but that didn't stop him to greet his brother.

 

"Hey Donnie!" Mikey chirped, he placed his other hand that was no longer holding the door on top of the stack of comics. There were about twelve comic books, and cautiously he placed them on the nightstand near where his brother laid. Mikey's heart tightened at the sight of his older brother, but quickly dismissed the feeling as he sat on the bed.

 

The small lamp that Donnie had on the nightstand, illuminated on his face. The soft light glowed, making Donnie's facial features standout. His eyes round, harmless, as he looked up at Mikey, quietly.

 

Mikey tried making everything seem normal, even though Donnie still hadn't said a word, it didn't stop Mikey from helping his brother.

 

"So, Don, I got you the goodies! Some of the best issues of 'Charles Darwin's R-Evolution Revenge!' the original, none of that reboot stuff you don't like; my 'Zombies on Earth? What the Heck!' - Special Edition- if I may add, see what else... Raphie's 'Modern Ninja...'" He picked each individual comic up, showing the pictures, because he still wasn't sure if Donnie understood him. Mikey bounced from sudden excitement. "And oh! Leo's Space Heroes! But if anyone asks he totally let you borrow them!" He told him, giving him a wink.

 

Donatello's propped against the bed, situated with dozens of pillows behind his head. Curious eyes gazed at whichever direction Mike went off to. His fingers tapped the bandages in a random rhythm, reminding Mikey that his wounds were still healing.

 

The quiet turtle looked comfortable, and Mikey was grateful for that. Little things like his brother being happy, made Mike happy. Mike wouldn't want it any other way.

 

Mikey placed a hand against his, squeezing it affectionately, but Donnie didn't squeeze his back. "So, which one do you want to read?" Mike asked, his thumb now rubbing against his wrist in circles.

 

His brother unrhythmic breathing responded to him; silence. It was always silence, and Mikey should be used to it, it's been days. – But he wasn't. The hope still lingered and Mikey wouldn't give up on his brother so easily.

 

But Mike found his brother lack of voice was some sort of karma. After all, they had told him to shut up multiple times, or to dumb down the way he spoke, and well he did. And it was biting Mikey's and everyone's ass.

 

Donnie sometimes gave a whine when he was uncomfortable. At times, Mikey, would know exactly what was bugging his brother, and others, he was left scratching his head in dismay. Donnie was a tough turtle to understand when he did speak, and now… Mike didn't even want to think about it.

 

A whine, a loud one, brought Mikey away from his thoughts and back to reality. Donnie urgently reached the comics, but Mike beat him and grabbed the first one on top of the stack. It was Leo's. He gave it to Donnie who willingly took it.

 

Donnie looked up at him, eyes glowing with newly excitement. His hands hesitated with unsureness where to go. He brought the comic by his lips, opening his mouth to take a bite of it like it was a snack. – But Mikey snatched it from him, knowing Leo would kill him if Donnie had stained, or even ripped, his most prized possession.

 

"No, Dee! You're not supposed to eat the comic book!" Mikey told him, patting his hand as a way for Donnie to let his hands down, but he didn't. Don pouted, and reached for the comic again.

 

Mike faced him away, feeling like he was fighting with a child, and Mikey didn't want to think of his brother like a kid. Especially his brother who was always a super genius even before he can crawl.

 

And at first, blue and mahogany eyes locked in contact, Mikey saw the sadness in his brother's eyes and thought of an idea; "here, Buddy, I'll read it for you!" He opened the front page of the comic, preparing to read.

 

"Alright." Mikey sat on the chair and leaned back, clearing his throat with an obvious amused grin. Before he could read, Donnie fidgeted and wiggle like he was being tickled.

 

Mikey ignored him, Donnie was always energetic in the morning and moved all over the place. Mikey placed a hand on his chest, murmuring, "you're going to hurt yourself, buddy." Mikey didn't know if Donnie understood him, but Donnie gave a heave, before laying back on his shell, his head lolling to the right. Round eyes looked at him with pure innocence which made Mikey smile even wider.

 

He, then, turned back at the comic, and began reading; "'Captain Ryan abort mission!' Grundch cried out, as he saw many Trumplets invade their ship." Mikey glanced at his brother for a second before continuing. "'No, we must not back down! These Trumplets-'" Mikey sharply halted, closing the comic book when he saw the distressed-on Donnie's face.

 

"Dee?" Mikey sat up more, placing the comic book away as he rubbed his brother's scalp, avoiding the stitches. "What's wrong?" He spoke again, softly. Dodging the fact that Donnie couldn't speak at all.

 

The injured turtle opened his mouth, looking as if he was trying to speak. Sorrow written all over his face. "Donnie, come on bro, what's wrong?" Mikey asked in desperation, setting the comic book down and now standing up.

 

Donnie chipped his mouth shut, and turned his face the other way.

 

"Donnie, tell me bro." Mikey pleaded, his fingers pinched Don's cheeks to move his face to make eye contact.

 

Don slapped his hand away pretty hard, and Mikey cupped his hand in shock. Donnie never did anything like that, ever.

 

"Hey, you're not sup-" The youngest closed his mouth shut to see Donnie's eyes glazed with unsheathed tears. He couldn't scold his brother, and Mikey simply wished he knew what was bugging Donnie.

 

And before Mikey could say anything else, he heard a soft grumble in Donnie's tummy. Mikey had never been so thankful that it was something so small, Donnie nearly drove him nuts to only find out he was hungry.

 

"You want soup? It's yummy!" He rubbed his own belly, smiling widely. Donnie directed a look away from him, but his stomach answered Mikey. "I'll be gone for a few minutes, okay? Here, Teddy can keep you company!" Mike lounged to reach for the bear they had as babies, and grabbed Donnie's hand and placed the bear on his hand.

 

Donnie looked at him, and smiled. He showed all his teeth and gums in glory, and Mikey didn't hesitate to hug him. Don didn't hug him back, but continued to smile as he brought the bear closer to his chest.

 

Mike got off the bed, now happier than ever, because the past few days Donnie never smiled. His mouth was always agape, breathing with his mouth and after five days, he smiled. Mike opened the door, ready to heat up the soup, and now nearly jumping. He closed the door to give his brother some privacy, and went off to the kitchen.

* * *

"Hey," Raph said shortly, sitting on one of the chairs by the table, watching Mike stir the soup. He toyed with his Sai, shoving his weapon in his belt and brought his hands on the wooden table.

 

"Hey Raph, what's up?" Mike asked and he looked at Raph. He fixed the unbalanced chef hat on his head.

 

"It's just gonna be the two of us – again." Raph said dryly, his fists tense. His eyes narrowed in a scowl, Master Splinter had told them all to take turns, and Leo wasn't doing his part.

 

"Augh, no, you gotta be kidding, brah. Leo seriously doesn't want to take care of our brother?" He scooped up the soup into a plastic bowl, his face woven in disappointment. He avoided eye contact, not wanting to show Raph his frustrations, and focused toward his brother's soup.

 

"He's acting like Donnie's dead or something! I tried knocking some sense into him, but he pulled that 'you don't understand' crap! Not understand my ass!" Raph slammed his fist on the table, but Mikey was used to Raph's outbursts.

 

Mike sighed tiredly, turning off the stove. "I have no problem of taking care of Dee. It's just, he barely sleeps and wakes up _super_ early. I wanna take a nap." Mikey said honestly, his eyes becoming drowsier at the thought of it.

 

"Well, I can take Donnie of your hands after he's done eating." Raph perked his head up, giving Mikey a playful smug smile. "I was thinking to take him to the dojo."

 

"Really? That'd be awesome! Thanks, Raph!" Mikey's tiredness washed away, grinning like a dork. "I'll call you when Dee's done eating. What is he gonna do in the dojo?" Mike asked, now walking away from the kitchen.

 

"Nothing much." Raph replied bluntly, "a few stretches, or something."

 

"Sounds good to me." Mike hummed, knowing he could take a well-deserved nap after Donnie's done eating.

 

Maybe Donnie being… different, wasn't as hard as Mikey thought. Donnie was still Donnie in some ways, and he would never complain about the situation. He loved his brother no matter what state he's in.

* * *

A furious throw was sent to the punching bag. Under momentum, it swayed, the spine of chains creaking which held it above the centered flooring. It swung a distance, clattering loosely until it gave way to the suffocation of its steel restraints. It returned to its heavy sustained hover, waiting for a next round.

 

Sunlight bristled itself from the open coverts of sewer grates, creating a light harmonization through the thistle oak tree of the dojo. Delicate beams traced themselves woven through branches and shedding taints of light on the two terrapins in its wake.

 

"Alright, Don―" Raphael, who turned from beating his way to the punching bag's core, turned to his brother. A sweat beaded forehead glistened slightly as a green hand wiped at them roughly.

 

"We need to get you back into shape. So― try to hit this sucker!"

 

He looked at his brother, driven by his own determination; emerald hued eyes flashing glaringly at the terrapin. But all he did was direct a blank eyed look sideways, towards the arsenal of their weapons sheathed into ember wooden compartments masterfully.

 

At first, Raphael chipped his mouth shut, his mind pushing a midway command down his throat once more. The turtle was sat down on the rugged floor, clumsily though in dumbfounded content. He said nothing― did nothing― but stare; it was all he ever did all day no matter _how_ much they tried him for any other gesture. He refused to even take notice of his idly stitched head but, like a pink elephant in a subway, it sat― challenging him and staid gout above all else.

 

A lining that encircled the top of his head was woven to a close timidly. Scabs of blood pulsed from slightly unfinished jobs, the dried blood through stitches. The scar kept vile at the scalp and Raphael thanked that the rest was vanished into the crevices of the back of his head― where he couldn't see them.

 

The unprofessionally fixed wound made a morbid display on the turtle's head but, as if the injury wasn't there, he stared― sat there with an idle expression in his eyes like he was aware of nothing.

 

Raphael wished that weren't the truth.

 

The mahogany lit gaze that he knew so well had vanished for eternity from his brother's solace; same eyes― but his eyes now grew unfamiliar. He didn't know this Donatello; he didn't want to know him. Raph still couldn't believe― wouldn't believe― that _this_ was now his blabber mouthed genius of a brother.

 

"... Come on, Don," his voice pushed a bit further, fathered with a slight patience in reminder of Donatello's condition.

 

"You gotta get moving!"

 

He clasped his hands together in attempt to get his dumbfounded attention. This was like trying to encourage a stale infant to smile for a camera or trying to get an old dog to chase after a ball.

 

He didn't like it.

 

Raphael started to frown. He wasn't about to give into the case scenario and click his lips together in desperation. With a flick of his wrist, he dashed his torn tails of crimson away to where they lay dangling on his coarse, shell covered back.

 

"Come on― you can't just sit there! You gotta move one way or another!"

 

Nothing.

 

All motions that arose from the turtle was a wiggling of his toes.

 

Anger started to boil in Raph with a mix of fear. He couldn't believe it. He wouldn't believe it. Raphael tried scanning for a signal― an oral sign to ensure that his brother wasn't lost. He wanted to believe that under that dazed, one noted look, was the Donatello he came to know.

 

As the unpleasant realization started to course through him, a surge of irritation struck him bitter.

 

"Do something, dammit!"

 

His hoarse yell tore away at the sincere, atmospheric calm of the dojo; a furious cry that even _he_ flinched at. He took a glance at his brother only to find his face widening in an undeniable terror. His feet curled inwards closer to his chest while a hand was propped behind him― as if he were ready to run for it. Slowly, Raphael's anger started to simmer. His throat felt rough like sandpaper, choked with a mass of guilt.

 

"Hey... Hey. Don." He started, but in the loss of his brother's fearful daze, he didn't know how to continue. In gradual struggle, the words came to him in calmness.

 

"You know what... Let me help you."

 

He took a step forward, but all that did was null. Don backed as if he were setting a shaking finger on the trigger of a gun, trying to defend himself from a monster that threatened him. A monster that was his _brother_.

 

Raphael timidly took a few steps forward, arms widening as he tried to calm his brother down.

 

"Donnie…I…"

 

Before he could even reach for his fearful brother, his name echoed through the dojo; "Raphael!"

 

Raph tore his attention from Donnie and whipped his head to see his older brother, arm crossed, by the doorway. "What the shell do you think you're doing with Don? He's supposed to be resting –in bed!" Leonardo bitterly yelled, azure eyes narrowed to a scowl.

 

"Donnie needs to get out of bed before all his muscles becomes to jell-o, and since when the shell do you care? _"_ He remarked, he stalked his way towards the eldest. "We're supposed to take shifts to take care of the Brainiac, and you're _ignoring_ him. What's wrong with you?" Raphael jabbed a finger at him, his head raised.

 

"I'm not ignoring him, Raph." Leo weakly protest, but kept his glare ablaze. "Donnie shouldn't be out of bed, and you know that!" He yelled with a nagging tone. They closed in on each other, the lethal looks in their eyes never shifted as they stood mere inches from breaking the last coat of poise that kept them from a relentless fight.

 

"Donnie's fine, Leo. He rested long enough, he needs to be in shape!" Raph shouted back, arms folding over each other.

 

"Don needs - "

 

"Will you shut up already? He's already up, and he's fine! Now go be an ass somewhere else and go back wallowing in your own guilt! You didn't show concern for him then, so why the hell are you starting now?! Dammit, Fearless, just leave us alone already!"

 

"I'm _not_ wallowing in my own guilt, Raph. Why should I be guilty anyway? My decision was clear, and you even _agreed_ to it, we all knew it's snowing out there –and we all knew what the results of leaving Don to the Shredder was!" The two brothers continued to bicker. Initially, Raph had known and accepted their decision. They couldn't have fought the Shredder and won, the cold would have killed them all. At some degree, he vaguely understood the choice of leaving one to save the group.

 

But—he peaked at his little damaged brother on the carpet and his fists shook at each side as his eyes flickered back towards his supposed _leader,_ responsible for this mess— it had been the wrong thing to do.

 

But that wasn't the problem right now.

 

"That doesn't mean it's okay to ignore your own brother, Leo!" Raph's breaths grew heavy- stale with hints of anger that whispered silent curses to the turtle ahead of him. Everything Leo did- everything he said- was pissing him off to no end. His hands, clutched and nearly risen to his side, shook as his will worked to resist the fervent urge to give his – oh so – Fearless Leader a piece of his mind.

 

The two angered turtles had quickly forgotten about their younger brother, who continued to sit on the floor, attempting to stand himself up. He was having trouble. His left-hand hesitated to place itself on the mat, and his legs trying to pull himself up. He attempted to use his right hand to heave himself up, but, like him, it fell back down.

 

Don swallowed a lump, his right leg dragging itself up, before he sat back down. It was no use. He gazed at his hands, looking up to see the red and blue mask turtles. The Red one made him feel scared, yet somehow there was love in between that, and Blue… He doesn't really remember him. He doesn't interact with him like Orange and Red.

 

The injured turtle gazed on the ground, trying to lift himself up. He ignored the two different voices yelling at one another, he didn't try to understand what was going on. Whatever words came out of their mouths was gibberish to him. He only understood a few words, and that wasn't helpful in his defense.

 

He needed help getting up, the mats were very uncomfortable and he was starting to ache. Where was Orange? The one who was always considerate of helping him? His mind was a mess, he couldn't concentrate on one thing with another at the same time, and he didn't understand what was going on.

 

He lifted his head to feel the soup crawl up in his throat. It took him by surprise. Bright lights took over his vision. He gave out a small choke before he grew rigid, and slumped to the ground, the last thing he heard was someone yelling out what seemed like his name, before everything darkened.

* * *

 

"Raph, Leo? What's going on? A groggy Michelangelo slurred. Since he took night _and_ morning shift to take care of Don, he barely slept at all. This was the only time he did sleep though, unfortunately, his timing couldn't be more of an unlucky coincidence. They just _had_ to have a fight during his only chance at rest. Michelangelo had grown used to Leo's and Raph's constant bickering- but he was too irritably woken up to stand it right now; not in these times.

 

"Fearless -"

 

"Raph -"

 

Mikey interrupted both, before either one could speak; " _Guys…_ Where's Donnie?" He asked, almost suspicious. He turned his head to the right, his sleepiness forgotten as his eyes widened. "Donnie!" He cried out, sprinting to his unconscious brother.

 

Donnie was convulsing, _violently_.

 

"Guys!" His voice shook and he turned his head to see Leo and Raph coming his way. He was unsure what to do, or what was going on. He grabbed Donnie's arms, in a weak attempt to make his shaking stop.

 

"Mikey don't hold him down! Raph, go get Master Splinter." Leo barked out, seeing Raph run out of the dojo and Mikey backing away from his brother.

 

Leonardo rolled Donnie to his side, making sure his airway was open. His whole-body spasm and shook violently – relentlessly. Don grunted as Leo placed his hands under his head to avoid it from hitting the ground with impact. His brother's eyes were open, more unfocused and dilated than before. Arms jerked in every direction. Drool began to form on his brothers' mouth, slowly seeping out of his mouth.

 

"That's it, little brother. Let it all out." Leo whispered, his eyes looking worriedly up to Mikey's. He paid no attention to the unsheathed tears forming on his eyes as Leo looked down to keep his gaze to his shaking brother.

 

Moments later, Raph came running in with Master Splinter behind his heels.

 

Splinter fell to his knees, taking over control as he brought Donnie's head to his thigh. He noticed immediately that Don gritted his teeth as his limbs tightened.

 

Everyone was quiet as he said soothing words to his second youngest son.

 

"Shh, everything will be alright my son." Splinter softly said to him, not letting Donnie's head slide off his thigh.

 

"How long has this been going on?" Splinter asked, looking up at his three sons.

 

"I'm not sure, Sensei. Mikey was the one who noticed." Leo answered, his tone laced with worry as he gazed at the cream patterned mats.

 

"That's it, my son. Breathe." Splinter's hands were rubbing soothingly on his head, his hand holding his head from sliding off his thigh.

 

Donatello stopped shaking, but every few seconds or so he would jerk or grunt. His eyes were still unfocused and he breathe throughout his nose heavily. Splinter stroke his head; "you are safe Donatello; I can assure you."

 

Donnie's head jerked back on his father's thigh, he attempted to stand up himself, maroon glossy eyes staring back at Splinter's sad, auburn pupils.

 

"No, Donatello, do not attempt to stand up, please rest back." Donnie acknowledge Splinter, resting his head back at his thigh, before attempting to stand up once again. "Donatello; listen. Do not get up." Splinter ordered, his tone calm. Donnie once again grunted, his breaths sounding like snores. He laid back down, concentrating on his breathing.

 

Splinter stroke his forearm, acknowledging his sons three minutes into the seizure. "Please go fetch some water for your brother." He said, mostly to Leo. Mikey cradled himself within the comfort of his Raph's embrace. He buried himself into his shoulder, his sobs trickling softly- muffled by his brother's course muscles.

 

Leonardo obeyed with no objections and rushed out of the dojo in seconds.

* * *

Donnie suddenly drew a breath as his eyes widened. His fingers locking, as if he tightened his fingers in a bend; his forehead creased in distress. Donnie leaned against his father's hold as he looked around, pupils back to normal.

 

"What happened?" Mikey asked, almost angry. He wiped his tears with the bandages that wrapped around his wrist.

 

"Donatello had a seizure, Michelangelo." His Sensei answered, watching Donnie's eyes glance at Mikey to Raph then up to him. Splinter kissed his forehead, and Don responded with a toothy smile. Splinter smiled back, caressing his son closer to him. He then looked up when Leo came with the glass of water.

 

"Can you stop them, Sensei?" Mikey asked, feeling Raph rub his head to soothe him.

 

"Seizures cannot be avoided, but what I did helped Donatello to pass through it. Turning him to his side helps from him choking on his own saliva, and holding his head helps from stopping future damage, my son." He answered, heaving Donnie up.

 

"Do you think you can drink water, Donatello?"

 

Donnie tilted his head at his father's question, he looked at the water and smiled. He shakily raised his hand to grab the glass himself, but Leo kneeled in front of him and softly pushed his hand down. "Here, little bro." He held Donnie's chin up, allowing him to take a few sips before pulling the cup back. Don smacked his lips as he leaned against Splinter once again, suddenly feeling tired.

 

"So, Sensei, you're telling me that the head injury caused Donnie's seizure?" Raph spoke up, his emerald green eyes gazing back at Mikey's.

 

"Yes, my son." Splinter replied as Donnie sat himself up more. "Let us hope that the other ones are no longer nor worse."

 

"Wait, _other_ ones?" Raph asked, brows furrowing.

 

"Yes, Raphael. Seizures come and go. I am hoping this would be the last seizure, but I do not fully know."

 

Raph nodded in understanding, his eyes landing to Donnie's. His poor brother, Raph wished he could take away his pain.

 

"Leonardo." Splinter slowly got up, caressing his injured sons' forehead one last time; "May you please take your brother to his bedroom so he can rest?" Leo reluctantly obeyed his father, he did a semi-bow before gathering his brother in his arms. Leo placed Don's head on the crook of his elbow, though he never noticed how frail Donnie was.

 

His two brothers stared at him. He felt it on the back of his neck. Leo hadn't exactly been a role model when it came to Don. So, when Master Splinter ordered him to take Donatello to get some rest, Leonardo was pretty sure his indifference hadn't gone unnoticed.

 

Slowly, the leader walked out of the dojo, hearing Mikey sob to their father from the stress of watching him convulse. It scared Leo too, but there was nothing that could fix it. He remembered Don teaching him about seizures, before Leo bated an eye and stopped listening to his rambling.

 

He wished he listened to his brother when he had the chance.

 

The leader opened the door, entering Donatello's room slowly. There was a stack of unfinished bowls of soup from the last couple days and he grimaced how many bloody bandages were in the trash can near the bed. Leo closed his eyes for a moment, recalling his last fight with Don and him... If only Donnie listened...

 

Leo clumsily opened the blanket and placed his brother in, before opening the door and leaving him alone. Donnie rested his head on the pillow, exhaling shakily before almost immediately falling asleep. The leader left him alone for now, who knows how long it'll be for Donnie to wake anyway. The stress was still in Leo's system…Maybe some meditation can clear his mind –it has been a long week, for everyone.

* * *

Splinter slowly paced himself to his once intelligent sons' room, slowly opening the door. It was the middle of the night and he wanted to check on Donatello, especially after his trauma from the recent seizure. Though, he didn't expect Michelangelo to be sitting on the edge of the bed, watching Don with what seemed like a mother hawk stare. The lack of posture on his shoulders indicated Mikey's ever dropping will to keep himself awake.

 

"Michelangelo?" The old rat whispered, opening the door wider as he entered the bedroom.

 

Mikey slurred groggily, drool manifested at the tip of his lips and dripped down his chin; "I'll take a pepperoni… double pizza dog… hold the mayonnaise…"

 

Splinter found himself chuckling, his voice gingerly watched over and silenced into gentle delight. He sighed, making it quick and tender.

 

"How about some tea instead?"

 

Mikey snapped awake at the recognition of the voice familiar to his brain. He straightened himself as he turned to see Splinter. "Hai sensei -!" He yelled, his shoulders tensed instinctively into a stiff, disciplinary posture in attention.

 

"Be very quiet, my son." Yoshi silently hushed him, indicating that Donnie was still in an unconscious state from his seizure. The turtle was in a fetal position, holding a teddy bear –probably given to him by Michelangelo when he was watching him.

 

"Oh…hehe…sorry Sensei." Mikey yawned tiredly, rubbing the back of his neck with tired eyes, his nerves pinched.

 

"Michelangelo what are you doing in here?" There wasn't a spite of anger in the voice, but concern that trickled through his tone like velvet. The father of the two walked to the bed and sat down next to his son, being careful not to wake Donatello.

 

"Oh this? I just wanted to watch over Donnie in case, ya know…" Mikey looked at his feet, avoiding eye contact with his father. He knew very well that a possible seizure attack wouldn't happen on the same day, but he couldn't risk not being there for him again when he needed him. He just wanted to make sure… Just in case…

 

"You are supposed to be asleep. Donatello will be fine, my son. You do not have to watch over him all the time." This time Splinter placed a hand on his shell, which brought Mikey to look up at him. His blue eyes were filled with tears that beaded on the edges of his eyelids, staining his mask into a damp, darkly rust.

 

"But Donnie and Leo and Raph always watch me when I have a hard time at night…" Mike muttered more to himself in a tone, soft as a timid child. He turned back as Don pushed the blanket unconsciously away from him. Almost immediately, Mikey moved the blanket over him, knowing the cold winter could easily make him sick.

 

After a few seconds trickled by, Splinter spoke up.

 

"There is something troubling you." There was a hint of worried and concern looming through his sentence. Mikey almost winced at his father's tone.

 

"Huh? Nah –I'm a tough turtle. I'll be fine. You know me." Michelangelo bluntly ignored his statement, waving his hand to show he was okay. He smiled up at his father – hoping, pleading, Sensei would believe his words. Splinter had one son to worry about, Mikey didn't want it to be two sons – Donnie needed the attention, not him.

 

Splinter went and rubbed Mikey's shell in circles, following the hexagonal patterns on his shell, before speaking softly once again; "Perhaps Donatello is not the only one who has suffered trauma."

 

The turtle's eyes widened, unsure of what to say to his father, mind laced with denial and the ever-manifesting refusal to tell him what was bothering him. He knew in the end, though, that his efforts were futile. Splinter always figured it out, there was no use hiding things from him.

 

"You did very well, my son. Donatello will heal hopefully –"

 

"Eventually." Mikey corrected him, smiling softly. He once again turned to look at his father.

 

Splinter smiled at the sliver of positivity in his voice. He sighed with content, a soothing melody gleaming dully within his pupils. "You must rest. He will not heal right away, you know this. A wound does not mend in a matter of seconds. It will take time and patience. Do not trouble yourself over this, my son."

 

Mike hesitated, turning back to see his older brother; "…Hai sensei." He leaned in for a quick kiss on Don's cheek, before he slowly got up. He didn't look away from his brother as he approached the door and exited.

* * *

"You are brave Donatello." Splinter whispered, using his thumb to rub Don's arm. His son was still in fact unconscious after the hours he had fallen into a seizure. –After these past few days of slow progress, he hoped the seizure wouldn't stop his improvement.

 

"You had managed to escape the Shredder, during the week I meditated –waiting for any clues to indicate you were living. I have found none. I have thought you were dead and did not came looking for you myself. I am deeply sorry, my son." Splinter took a deep breath, brushing off Don's cheek. He towered himself almost discreetly to his son.

 

"I have failed you, Donatello, my son…" He slowly took hold of his once intelligent son's hand, holding it with great care. He was about to release his hand and slowly retrieve to his bedroom, when the hand he was holding, suddenly tightened the hold.

 

Splinter looked down to see Donatello's reddish brown eyes looking up at him. "My son…" Splinter could breathe a little easier now, rubbing his hand. Though awake, Donnie's face still held a mixture of confusion laced with pain. That pain- that soft look of suffering- was a reminder; of all the things, he couldn't do for his family, of what he couldn't afford to lose. Within Donatello's almond eyes, he saw Tang Shen, staring at him through the fire that scorched her gaze, mortified. He couldn't do much about it.

 

"I am sorry, my son." Splinter whispered, drawing Donnie to a hug. He looked down to see the bandaged head and rubbed his scalp around the wound.

 

The two were quiet, Splinter continuing to hug him while Don draped his arms around his father. His once intelligent son was far from being okay and Splinter knew this was going to be a long recovery. He needed to discuss Leonardo's recent behavior, but for now, he'll stay with Donatello.

 

Donnie pressed his forehead on his father's chest, quietly listening to his Sensei's heartbeat. His whiskers bristled the top of Donatello's head. He could hear a murmur from his father but paid no attention as he leaned his body further, comfortably adjusting to his hold.

 

Splinter kissed his son's head, Donatello's eyes slowly closing as his father held him tight. This time he would make sure he wouldn't make that mistake again.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leo's a bit angsty on this one, but please don't hate him!

Leonardo exhaled unevenly as he drew his hands to his head. He massaged his temples with an expression of sorrow. After two hours of attempting of meditating… _nothing_ was working. His legs shook with uncertainty under him. The creamed mats below him gave a squeak from his movements.

 

Every moment he closed his eyes, voices swarm in his head, voices of their argument. The tension between him and Don _before_ Donnie's capture, kept bubbling in his thoughts. It was the last thing he said to him. The purple clad turtle's mind was busied with the recent argument, and Leo was beginning to assume that argument distracted Donnie to not see the Foot. It was not the best idea to think about what happened to his little brother during that week, but it was something that kept Leo thinking about.

 

His siblings were enraged at him although they reached an agreement about saving Donnie _after_ the snow blizzard. The fact is, the storm never settled down, and the desire of saving Donnie was idle. It was either Donnie or the entire team, and Leo–being leader–had to engage in drastic measures. —Leaving one behind to protect his two remaining brothers.

 

He didn't expect Mikey to rebel; he didn't expect Donnie to still be alive, and merely have a few scars… but his _head._ His _brain,_ was the dilemma. An injury that may take months, or even years to heal, and Leo was being cynical about it. Donnie _was_ brilliant; Donnie _was_ mature, and he wouldn't be in this state if he just _listened_ to his big brother.

 

The point is, Donnie nor he could've apologize. Don didn't talk at all, and if Leo spoke to him, he wouldn't comprehend him. He was… his brother was stupid, and he didn't desire to acknowledge the fact he was.

 

The argument bubble and burned in the back of his mind, and Leo closed his eyes at the thought of it. It was hardly two weeks since, but it felt like just this day when they began to argue, _again_.

* * *

_"Where do you think, you're going?" Leo asks in a rather annoyance tone, he closes off the exit of the lair as he taps his foot repeatedly. He shivers as the winter blew in the sewers -it was going to snow tonight per the news._

 

_"I have to go to the junkyard, Leo." Donnie says hastily, setting his Bo staff in his sheathe. Leo had prohibited them after he had watched the news, but he_ _ **needed**_ _to go to the junkyard, he had to get something._

 

_"Whoa -what happened to that meeting we had this morning? The '_ we can't go out since it's going to snow' _speech? I didn't do it to bore you guys to death, Donnie." Leo now crosses his arms as he heaves a sigh. He acknowledges him and Don been on the sensitive side lately, one short word could make an entire argument. Leo was starting to doubt himself towards who_ _ **has**_ _the anger problems, Don or Raph?_

 

_"You don't understand, Leo, I_ _ **have**_ _to go. -Plus, in my estimates I have two hours before the storm hits!"_

 

_"Donatello, I said no! It's not safe!" Leo yells out, and his face is practically wrinkled in anger._

 

_"Leo I promise I won't be there for more than two hours. We may be cold-blooded but we still have human DNA in our system... I still have a lot of time before it really_ _**does** _ _gets cold." Donnie pinches the bridge of his nose, sighing wistfully. "I know what I'm doing, Leo." He pronounces his brother's name slowly, but he's trying to keep his cool. "Please just listen to me…"_

 

_"You are not going because I'm the leader!" Leo brings out the precise, ignoring his brothers plead; "You can't go against my words, Donatello." His face wrinkles to a scowl, his shoulders squaring like it usually does when he gets in a fight._

 

_The_ "I'm the leader" _have melt Donnie's cool, and his brown eyes flickers in anger. It was the second time in their infamous arguments he has use that as a counterargument. He finds it ridiculous. Don steps close to Leo and all Leo knew was being hauled up by his younger brother by his belt. Both their faces were disdain, eyes narrowed and faces inches apart._

 

_"I'm going." Donnie's voice lowers which was unusual in Leo's defense. He never lowers his voice until he was genuinely furious, but that didn't scare Leo. Instead of cowering like a child, Leo slaps Donnie's hands away from his belt, his feet brushing the pavement._

 

_"I said no, Donatello." Leo lowers his tone as well, his caerulean eyes narrowing._

 

_He wasn't prepared for that shove Donnie just did, fists clenching angrily together. "I'm leaving!" Donnie repeats one last time, his voice straining from yelling and then he turns to enter the sewers._

 

_"Fine!" Leo yells out, remarking that Don doesn't turn around; "Go then, but if you come back all sick_ _ **I'm**_ _not taking care of you!"_

 

_He is aware of a paw on his shoulder to discover his Sensei looking worriedly at Leo, soon after at the sewers. He doesn't communicate for a good few minutes until Leo tense under him; "Meditation." Splinter says softly and Leo nods in a solidified agreement._

* * *

Leo slowly stood up; mediation is no help. Meditation was the only way to clear his mind from this whole incident and he was having trouble doing something he learned as a kid. And as he kept taking short steps, Leo could hear the television on. He looked at the clock that's hanging up on the dojo, it's three in the afternoon, the regular time Raph or Mikey takes Don to watch some television.

 

T.V. sounded good right now, it was what distracted him if meditation couldn't. But knowing Mikey who wants to encourage Don to relearn everything, they're probably watching Clifford the Big Red Dog. Leo grimaced at the thought of that old cartoon, he would rather watch Space Heroes.

 

The leader truffle a groan, but before he could walk out of the dojo, he could hear Mikey's muffled voice reverberate through the dojo. Leo waited a few seconds, before Mike repeated himself, this time more distinctly.

 

"Guys! Donnie's reacting to what I'm doing! Come here!"

 

Maybe meditation should be moved to the side for now.

 

Leo slowly walked out, questioning what 'development' Donnie has carried out since the current two weeks he came home. The last time Mikey yelled that Don was acknowledging what he was doing; Donnie simply offered a nod or a shake to the head. Leo rolled his eyes, Donnie probably didn't understand a thing and just aimlessly did so.

 

Once he showed up in the capacity, Raph was already gathering by Donnie, an enormous grin on his face. It wasn't forced like he usually does. It looked like Raphael was talking to Spike, his features soft and happy.

 

"What improvement did he made now Mikey?" Leo asked, not all too happy. His shoulder's slouch with a coerce smile that Leo was the master of pulling off. Even Splinter could fall for that fake smug, and it was something Leo was thankful for. He didn't need to go into any problems…

 

Mikey, who's shell was faced away from Leo, turned around, with a grin like Raph. "He's _laughing._ "

 

Leo's appearance was everything but a smile, his forced smile turned to a frown, dull blue eyes met bright ones. "I'm going to my room." He told him; suddenly uninterested on Donnie's progress.

 

Mikey's mouth was fastened to a tight frown; he wasn't going to argue with Leo, he didn't do anything improper to upset him. Mike sighed wistfully, Leo was acting like how he did in Northampton. Broody and distant, and Mike wasn't going to argue, well not for now.

 

"Alright." He spoke delicately, observing his brother turn to his heels and watched him leave.

 

He turned his head to Don, who rose from the old couch and took a fast stride to where Leo went. It wasn't quick as Donnie probably wanted to go, but it was the best his battered body could do. Mikey, on the other hand, for several seconds, looked dumbstruck as he examined his immediate older brother limp in the hall. His blue eyes wide, shined with upcoming terror towards his brother's safety.

 

_Donnie never acknowledged Leo before…why now?_ Mikey asked himself but had no time to think about it as he stood up and hastily rushed to where their rooms were. Mikey watched with a horror-stricken mind as Donnie tried grasping Leo's wrist and Leo, face twisted in what appeared like loathing, shoved him away from his doorway and slam the door shut.

 

Donnie blinked, and so did Mikey, at the harsh noise. Mike cautiously approached Donnie, who sat on the ground and clasped his purple mask tails and gave them a pulling – as if they were putting him comfort.

 

"Hey, uh, Don. Do you mind going to Raphie for a sec?"

 

Mikey set a hand on his immediate older brother's shoulder, softly massaging his muscles; fragile, weak yet tense. Within his youthful eyes, above tired bags that yearned for sleep but refused to take rest, a small yet delicate smile caressed through freckled cheeks.

 

Hazel met baby blue — sorrow met sympathy. Donatello's eyes glistened as tears liquidated in his gaze but refused to leave their corners. His mouth gaped slightly, his breaths hitched sorely, as if a million words that yearned to be heard choked in his throat and congested within his mind — his broken, damaged, fragile mind.

 

Mikey tried to keep the tiredness from his eyes but his reassurance faltered. His anger towards his eldest and most stubborn brother bled through his mask of brotherly comfort. Donatello looked away, ripping his eyes off the orange clad turtle and cringing at the throbbing pain that his stitches bore from the pressure. The weakened turtle shut his eyes tight and grit his teeth, his once hidden tears revealing themselves and streaming down his pale cheeks. Mikey bit his lips, pursing his expression out of guilt.

 

"What's going on?"

 

Raphael appeared from the corners of the hallway, staring at the two brothers. His fierce, emerald green eyes were touched by curiosity and concern.

 

Mikey stared at his older brother with a worried look — a sound and blinking gaze that hid a wild frustration.

 

"Uh... Nothing, dude. Hey. Can you do me a solid and take Donnie with you? Pleeeaaassseeee! Hook a turtle up!"

 

Mikey gave Raph the cutest, most pitiful puppy eyes he could muster from his arsenal of puppy dog expressions — a special skill and collection of adorable pouts gained from being the youngest of a bunch of four brothers. He folded his hands together sweetly and brought them up to his chest.

 

Innocently, he smiled; made an impeccable grin that made Raph swore he saw an angel halo above his head.

 

His genuine concern turned to a glare of pure annoyance — a sensation that Raph got around Mikey a bit too often.

 

"Alright, alright you big doof — I'll do it! Jeez. Ya don't have to give me the puppy eyes!"

 

He would've practically yelled if there wasn't a cowering Donnie sitting in the corner.

 

"Aw! But you _love_ the Puppy Dog Pout!"

 

He mused, obviously having fun with his little taunts. Raph, however, couldn't say the same for himself.

 

"It was cute when we were five but now it's just annoying. Now get Don over here before I decide to slap your face."

 

He said to him in a sharp tone. Then, with a hint of joy, he grinned at his youngest brother, his eyes lighting up with the same joy he had the first time they had left the sewers. For a second, the red clad turtle chuckled at his little brother's lighthearted joke and Mikey, noticing the effect, smiled back.

 

"I knew you still loved it."

 

Even with all this tension, they were still able to act like teenagers. The thought gave them a bit of joy — a bit of hope.

 

Mikey turned his head over to Donnie, his eyes brightened with a soft smile curled to his lips.

 

"Come on, Don. You gotta go with Raphie. Don't worry about it, bro. He'll take care of you."

 

He reached out his hand for his purple clad brother to take. Donatello could only stare at his outstretched fingers as if there was a ticking time bomb in its palm. With hesitation, he reeled back, curling into a secure ball with his knees covering his face and body.

 

Mikey sighed as he pulled his hand away, staring at Raph once more with a softer expression glistening in his eyes.

 

Raphael blinked at the turtle.

 

"I'll take him."

* * *

"Leo! What the _shell_ , dude!" Mike slammed the door in a familiar fashion as Leo did to Don. That ' _thud_ ' which rang Mikey's ears, and remembered his big brother's brown and sad eyes. Donnie and him were the master at pulling sad pouts. Mike has done it for his brother's not to get angry, but, Donnie did it because he was hurt. Donnie didn't deserve to be treated that way and Mike was not going to let that happen again.

 

"He was interrupting my meditation. I needed to—"

 

"Meditation, Shmeditation. You don't do that to your brother! Not cool, dude!" His arms waved around to prove a point, a small pout on his lower lip appeared.

 

"What? Slamming the door on his face? He isn't going to understand me if I tell him to leave!" Leo yelled, standing up from the rugged floor. He jabbed a finger on Mikey's chest, his face scrunched up in anger.

 

Mikey took a deep breath, his fingers rubbing in between his eyes. The bright blue eyes narrowed with such anger that Mikey swore he couldn't breathe.

 

"He understands Leo! He understands exactly what you did! You slammed the door on him, he started to—you made your brother cry Leo!" He inhaled sharply, arms crossing over his chest.

 

"Donnie needs _all_ of us. You probably hate him, but Donnie doesn't hate you… heck, I'm sure he forgot about your little fight!"

 

"Look Mikey it was his fault that…"

 

"Leo for the last time: it wasn't his fault! Did you _think_ he wanted to get captured?"

 

"Well, if he wasn't so reckless, he wouldn't have gotten hurt in the first place! Mikey. Why are you taking this seriously? You never take anything seriously!"

 

"Because he's my brother!"

 

"He's my brother too!"

 

"Well, it doesn't feel like it! He has a huge scar on his head and he was close to death and all you could do is yell at him for going out in the first place! I'm surprised you didn't nag at him while he was having a seizure! Dude. I don't wanna sound like Raph but you're letting this Karai thing get to your head. How about instead of acting like a leader, you should act like a brother instead!"

 

"Karai's our sister!" Leo said in defense, and his voice is exasperated to get his point across.

 

"- And Donnie's our brother! I'm not going to lie here, Leo. I care about our sister too. – But, Donnie, he's been with us since we were babies, dude! I miss Karai, but Donnie is our Donnie. He's our brother… He always has and we've grown up together, Leo. I know how you feel about our sister being currently missing, but taking it out on Donnie isn't going to help." Mike's tone lowered, but kept his eyes are ablaze.

 

Leo grimaced, but doesn't answer, he doesn't _need_ too.

 

"Leo… the _only_ reason Donnie went to the junkyard was for our sister. He – He told me that he needed a piece, and as much as he knew you were going to be upset about it, he wanted to make you and Sensei, and _us_ , happy. I should have gone with him, but instead I wanted to stay in the warm and goof off while Donnie was in the cold. It was a sacrifice he did, and we should appreciate it more than what we're doing right now. He told me he was close coming up with the cure, and if only we went with him, this whole being captured and brain damage wouldn't have happened." Tears began to form on the youngest, but Mikey wouldn't end there. There was so much to express, so much to fix…

 

"Mike–," Leo quietly struggled to interrupt, not clear what to do. He was dumbstruck, mouth agape. His little brother was right. If he or Leo went with him and fought by his side, Donnie would be normal… his brother would be safe and be in his lab cooped up doing who knows what.

 

"You didn't see how he couldn't eat because his body rejected it, or how many times he was frozen in fear because he saw me holding a knife to cut some veggies. You didn't see his face every time the stitches on his head would ache and how he would cry in pain…" Mikey took a solemn breath. The tears rolling down his cheeks, but he didn't have the strength to wipe them.

 

"Stop making a big deal out of something so small. Donnie _loves you_ – and if he talked, he would probably tell you that. I _know_ Donnie not talking isn't his only problem; he acts like a child, I don't know if it was because of the seizure or the brain damage, or – or both. All I know is that Donnie has a long recovery, and he needs his big brother. Can you just pretend, make Donnie happy just for once? Please, that's all I ask."

 

The dread of silence loomed in the atmosphere, and before Leo manage to respond, Mikey had departed his room. All that's left is Leo and his thoughts.

* * *

"Donnie! Ergh! –Hey Leo!" Raph opened Donnie's bedroom door further, gazing at his brother with exhaustion. Leo paused, letting a few seconds' trickle before he turned around to face Raph with a deep breath. He wasn't in the spirit for another round of fighting

 

"Bro, can you put this chemical in Donnie's lab? Brainiac here almost dropped it on himself while trying to reach it." Leo reached for the substance as Raph handed it to him. His head turning to meet Donnie laughing. It was all bubbly and innocent, like a toddler laugh. Donnie rarely laughed when he was... normal. Seeing him laugh was almost alien to him. Donnie chuckled, a lot, but laughing really wasn't his thing. They were too busy to even laugh with the situation they have at hand...

 

A smile spread across the hothead's face; "thanks." He declared bluntly, and Leo turned to look at Raph with a firm nod. The turtle in red got up from the bed and shut the door close to have some privacy with his wounded brother.

 

Leo shot him a smile, sulking with the compound on his hand. He steered away from his brother's room and went to the close labs. He shuddered, the usual opened and use lab was vacant and abandoned.

 

Leo opened the laboratory door in haste, the test tube of mysterious pink, dissolved substance held in his fingers. He was cautious as to keep Donnie's strange concoction away from his reptilian skin. He pushed the large barricaded doors in front of him. Skin on steel — pride on guilt — there had never been an emptier feeling. As the door reeled away from his darkened green fingertips, the dull and darkened atmosphere surrounded him.

 

He squinted his eyes slightly to make out the figure of his surroundings. Ever since the incident, Donnie's mechanical haven has been lay a waste with its abandonment. With its caretaker and inventor out of commission, its once lively machines now wasted on the concrete flooring, rust starting to form on their silver lined edges. The chemicals which once bubbled with Donnie's scientific pride and achievement now lay dead and dull in their containers.

 

The surgery had left the lab into a permanent ruin. Leo could only feel as empty as the abandoned lab he had entered. His tired eyes were colored as dull as the broken machine parts that were scattered on the floor.

 

The leader entered, careful not to step on anything that may have been left behind by his brothers. A cold shiver crawled sinisterly up his spine and course through every patterned edge of his shell.

 

He looked around, eyes scanning for a place to set the test tubes so that Donnie couldn't set hand on them. In his findings, he ran into what appeared to be notes — blueprints and notations that made no sense to anyone other than Donnie.

 

In his curiosity, he tried to decode the variables and terms that Donnie had scribbled on the line paper but to no avail. Each set of notes had a date, time and its own data to present to keep track of the terrapin scientist's work.

 

A number equation with variables he couldn't comprehend and some odd but very detailed drawings of the brain worm later, he found something that peaked his interest; Donnie's journal entries.

 

They seemed to be in a diary like format by the way they were all written with dates that were only recent, all starting from the day Karai was horribly disfigured and mutated.  
Leo sighed to himself, rubbing his eyes from tiredness as he scattered for the earliest of records.

 

_11/ 03 / 15; 10:02 PM_

 

_We had her. Leo and Splinter were finally happy. And now I have to find a brand new retro mutagen that matches the chemical formula of the concoction that Professor Stinkman used in his batch. (Actually, he barely had any credibility to begin with so I don't know is he deserves to be affiliated with the "Professor" title. But, then again, it's just a sarcastic remark so I guess it makes no difference and I'm babbling again... Man I've been awake for far too long.)_

 

_It's bad enough seeing Master Splinter miserable with her daughter taken from him again but Leo isn't helping me with this either. I already feel guilty for her mutation and I don't know why. There was nothing I could do to subvert the inevitability of her mutation and it was Shredder who cut the chain to her cage anyways. I don't get it. Why am I getting like this? Doesn't matter anyways... I need to work on this cure for Karai and I need to do it quick before Leo's constant nagging drives me to the brink of insanity..._

 

In dispute, Leo flipped to a few pages. He watched as he did that the small diary was filled with notes about chemicals, and there was small, but capitalize "FAIL" on some of the calculations. Stopping to a page with a chunk of paragraphs, Leo's heart skipped a beat as he read on.

 

_11/18/15; 3:02 AM_

 

_'Failure— just another failure. I've had some shit luck with some of my experiments before but none this... awful! At this rate, I'll never find this cure for Karai— especially under this pressure. I don't even like Karai all that much and I certainly don't want to spend this much of my time and effort to heal her of her mutation but, with Splinter and the rest of the guys counting on me and with all of Leo's insanely provocative silent treatment, this cure is literally driving me crazy. I know he's mad but he just won't talk to me._

 

_Sure, Leo and I never really got along sometimes, in fact he doesn't really pay much attention to me unless he needs something built or fixed since he spends so much time on Raph's case, but he never had anything against me— at least not until now. Maybe he hates I don't know. This is frustrating. Karai's mutation is oddly unique. Without proper blood samples of any indication on the chemical concoction added to the mutation, this is going to be far more difficult than I initially hoped._

 

_I started going to the Periodic Table to search if any elements shared the same effects when combined with the mutagenic formula I've created in the past, but there's virtually nothing about Karai's mutation that could indicate to a specific element. Whatever chemicals Baxter put in the mutagen had to have come from Earth unless they have access to some sort of rare alien metal I don't know about. I can disqualify all the basic liquids and gasses like Helium, Hydrogen, Oxygen and Boron. But it's hard to eliminate some elements from here... I'm taking my research into the Rare-Earth Metals for the answer but there's no guarantee that I'll even have the correct formula. I'm going to run some tests now... hopefully, they'll give me some sort of progress.'_

 

_11/20/15; 12:03 AM_

 

_I fought with Leo again._

 

Leo found himself flipping over the same page continually. Everything else on that page is more technical stuff he didn't understood or could pronounce it at all. He wasn't as interested with the huge terms as he was with Donnie's personal responses.

 

He gazed at the short response one more time before impulsively going to the final sheet; the last piece Donnie recorded before his capture.

 

_12/01/15; 5:27 AM_

 

_'Failure. Failure. Failure. Failure. Failure. Failure. Damn it... Why can't I perfect this cure? Why can't I do this one little thing for Splinter and Leo? I'm such an IDIOT. I've been working on this cure for weeks and NOTHING. There's no one to turn to for help since no one studies the mutagen like I do and, if I can't do it then who can? This is turning out to be a disaster the more I work and I'm fully aware that the stress and frustration is terrible for my own health — mentally and physically. But I can't give up now — not with Leo on my back and clinging on like Shredder clings to his vendetta over Splinter... okay bad analogy but Leo's making this job at least 1.89 hundred times more stressful than it needs to be._

 

_He's BEYOND angry with me through no fault of my own and he does absolutely nothing to help me with this cure that he wants too much. We've already had a fight — and an ugly one at that — and his little "try harder" statements aren't exactly helping... I can't concentrate on anything and I've been up for far too long, not even coffee can bring me energy to train and fight the Shredder or the Kraang the day after. I don't even want to think of those two right now. All I know is is that I've been trying way too hard to find this cure — harder than Leo train, if that's possible. He obviously doesn't understand the kind of pressure I'm under but I at the least expect him to empathize since HE himself is pressured every single day of his life to NOT fail as a leader._

 

_I don't know if that makes the situation better or if it just makes Leo a huge hypocrite and a bigger pain in the shell — I'm leaning more towards the latter. I'm such a useless brother but I've poured so much of myself into this — I'm NOT going to give up now. Mark my words, I'll finish this cure no matter what. I'll make Sensei happy, I'll finally relieve the tension in my family, I'll have a sister again and I'm going to make Leo happy again... Just wait. I'm going to make Leo proud if it's the last thing I do.'_

 

It was the second time today that left Leo's mouth agape. Not plainly did he overlook his brother, but he lashed out at him. It wasn't him at all, and he acknowledged it was becoming an issue. His own little brother was taken into his own rage for Karai that he didn't understand how serious he was hurting him… where he should be helping him instead.

 

Mike will not ever allow him near Donnie for his impulsive actions.

 

The book fell with a _'thud'_ by his feet, but Leo didn't pick it up. He left the lab in a flurry. He must make up to Donnie, somehow…


	5. Chapter 5

Leo's feet padded the floor in silence as he made his way to the living room. His mouth curled to speak, but closed with hesitation.

 

"So," Leo began, clasping Raph's attention, but he didn't catch Donnie's, who was sitting on the floor watching T.V. Leo was starting to back away from the idea, but he observed at Donnie's dented head and knew it was the right choice.

 

"I called Kirby to check on Donnie." He choked out with impatience, his stomach agitating, because Kirby could come and tell them Donnie can be dead any minute, or something worse. But nothing can be inferior to a death of a brother.

 

"Why the hell did you call him?" Raph asked, his voice thick with anger. His hands tightened into fists, and eyes tapering to a glower.

 

Leo resisted the urge to bark it out once again, how did his hothead of a brother didn't understand him the first time was beyond him. "It's been over a month, Raph, Donnie hasn't said a _word_ since Mikey brought him home, I'm worrie–"

 

"You're wor _ried_?" Raph mocked, and he threw his hands over his head. "You've done _nothing_ to help our brother, Leo. You _slammed_ the door in front of him, and suddenly you're _worried_!?" He wanted to yell more, the anger flushing his face, but he glanced down to see his brother looking up at him quietly.

 

Donnie's eyes were unsheathed with tears, and Raph lowered his fists and released the tension on his hands. The red flush going away immediately after Raph realized he's petrifying his brother.

 

"I made a mistake, Raph! I assumed too quickly over the situation and never thought of how Donnie felt. Look, I called Kirby for a good reason. This is a way to fix both mine and Donnie's situation. I can make it up to him." Leo's voice dipped to a whisper, eyes gazing to his younger brothers who turned away from Raph to gaze up at the T.V. again. Leo glanced at Donnie who repeatedly tapped his feet against the rhythm of the show's tune. Oblivious to the world around him, nothing the normal Donnie would do.

 

His brother _was_ alerted at all times, he didn't watch cartoons as much as he now did. This Donnie wasn't like the Donnie he knew before he left _that_ night. Leo's spine gave a shiver, he didn't know if it was from the Wintery weather outside, or the thought of his brother never being himself again…

 

Raph opened his mouth to argue, but another voice interrupted him before he can even speak.

 

"H-Hello, Leonardo?"

 

Both Raph and Leo snapped their heads up at the new voice. Almost instantly, Leo's expression turned to a fond smile, and he walked away from the living room to the entrance of the lair and stretched his hand out to greet Kirby. His hand shook from the cold, but Kirby didn't realized it, or didn't really care.

 

"Mr. O'Neil, glad you could make it." Leo said, shaking Kirby's hand.

 

"Me too." Kirby answered, releasing the handshake and removed the black snow-filled jacket. "It's going to be snowing like this until middle of February, if we're lucky." Kirby stated, attempting to shake the cold off him.

 

"So." Mr. O'Neil removed the gray beanie, bristles of snow falling on his beard and his forehead wrinkled as he spoke, "where is he?" He asked softly.

 

Leo moved from Kirby's sight, so he was able to see the living room. "He's sitting on the floor." He told him as he jabbed his thumb over his shoulder where Donatello sat by the T.V…. watching Clifford. Leo grimaced, but he tried not to make it apparent.

 

Kirby stepped forward, and Leo nodded as an approval to let him see his brother. Kirby's eyes landed on the dented head. And while he was on the phone with Leo, Leonardo made it sound like Donatello had a bump on his head, not—not _this_.

 

Donnie's skull was carved in, stitches that held only the flaps of the skin where it was torn, and not helping with the actual damage inside. Kirby didn't like the idea of the brain damage being covered up. Especially when he knew Donatello's the genius, and as Leo had put it, he wasn't the same, but Kirby didn't want to take it in. Not yet… Not after Donnie had cured him, _twice_ , and the _whole_ city due to his intelligent mind. His breath cut short. He wasn't prepared.

 

"Donnie." Leo spoke out, breaking the man out of his thoughts. He glanced at Leo, then to Donnie, who sat stiffly on the floor. The tapping of his feet stopped, and muffled giggles were covered by his palm.

 

Kirby came closer to Donatello, and kneeled on one knee, his hand touched his shoulder. Softly. "Donatello, it's me Kir—" Kirby didn't even had a chance to finish his sentence, when Donnie turned to look at him.

 

Between that second, Donnie's giggles halted, his hand retreated to the cement. His chest puffed out, and he inhaled all the air he can gathered, and screamed. In the corner of his eye, he saw Raph and even Leo jolt from the surprising scream. Kirby looked at Donnie, calmly, "No, no, Donatello it's okay…"

 

Donnie backed away, the screams turning into sobs. His arms shook underneath him, and gave out on him and with a _thud_ he fell on his back. His head hit concrete, tongue bitten from his teeth chattering from impact. The taste of copper made his way in his mouth and the tears balled up and left the corner of his eyes. Out of instinct, his hands clutched his head.

 

Kirby's hand was still in the air, mouth agape. He stared in awestruck, mentally taking notes on Donnie's behavior. Before he can comment, Raph stood up to go aid his brother, but Leo passed through the both and helped Donnie up.

 

Kirby slowly stood, and Raph turned to him and pushed him away with an usher of "you're upsetting him."

 

The man nodded at Raphael, his voice dipped in apprehension. "This is going to be harder than I thought." He mumbled when he backed away from the upset turtle.

 

Leo instantly acted and embraced his anxiety-filled brother into a hug. His fingers were tainted with blood, and Leo straightened his shoulders back and raised his neck to see his brother's back head. Blood dotted its way in-between the stitches, and Leo caught the bruise settling in.

 

"I knew this was a bad idea." Raph mumbled, turning his head to his fallen brother, only to see Leo hugging him. He took a step onward, but stopped.

 

"I'm so sorry little brother…" Leo whispered sympathetically that Raph barely caught the words in between Donnie's sobs. Leo removed his wrist wrap, balling it up and placing it on his brother's head. Donnie inhaled sharply, burying his face on the nook of Leo's neck and shoulder. Leo felt the hot tears continue to run down his brother's cheek and he felt the need to bring his brother closer.

 

Raph brought his leg back, and twisted his head to Kirby. Raphael's eyes creased in worry, he turned his head to Leo and Donnie again, wanting to take that step again and take more to go help his brother.

 

A hand gripped his wrist, halting him.

 

Kirby pulled Raphael closer to him, his eyes gazing at the duo and he turned back to Raph. "Leonardo told me the whole situation," he said in a whisper, "it's best to leave them for now."

 

Raph looked at the two again, and Kirby's grip softened, until he let go. Donnie fell silent, his face continued buried on Leo's shoulder blade. Raph silently agreed, turning to Kirby with a tug on his lips. Leo finally did something good this past month…

 

Raph mouth opened towards Kirby, now wanting an explanation of Donnie's sudden outburst, but a worried some Mikey came out of the kitchen. He tossed the kitchen towel to the table, and he approached towards the two by the couch. His eyes were inclusive, looking at Raph to Kirby in a turmoil.

 

"What's going on?" Mikey asked, Raph heard the concern in his voice. "I couldn't leave the kitchen without burning up the food. Is Donnie having a seiz–?"

 

Raph cut him off with a "no," before Mikey could finish his sentence. Donnie haven't had a seizure for a few days, but even with his seizures, they weren't as bad as the first time. So, in a frenzy Raph lightly pushed Mikey away from the scene, as Kirby followed the two.

 

"Come on." Raph alleged, his lips tugged to a small smile, he didn't want to bother Leo as he finally apologized. "I'll help ya make breakfast." Raph wrapped his arm around Mikey's neck, and Mikey looked agitatedly to the side.

 

"I want to check if Donnie's okay." He voiced softly.

 

Kirby entered the conversation as he came closer, the only sound was Leo hushing Donnie, repeatedly. "Your brother just needs some time, Michelangelo. He isn't used to anyone but his own family, right?"

 

Mikey nodded, huffing out the anxiety he held in. "He's okay though?"

 

"He's fine." Raph responded for Kirby, spinning his brother around as he led him to the kitchen.

 

"And plus, breakfast wouldn't hurt anyone, would it?"

 

"With your cooking? Yes." Mikey replied defiantly, receiving a glower from Raph. "What?" He questioned, walking to the kitchen. "The last time you cooked, the kitchen almost caught on fire, and don't let me get _started_ on Leo." He joked, the tension rolled off his shoulders knowing the fact that someone was looking over Donnie. Even if it was Leo, if Raph had trust on him, he should too.

 

"You knuckle-head." Raph raised his hand to slap Mikey on the head, but wavered. His hand went on his shoulder instead and gave it a good squeeze. "We're all hungry, especially the nerd." He told him with a smug and Mikey noticed the hesitance from the slap, but chose not to say anything. He, then nodded with a slight smile. Raph noticed the exhaustion on his face, but chose not to speak of it.

 

"Something light for Donatello will be good." Kirby told them, taking a seat on the table. "He's been stressed, and in my opinion he shouldn't be eating something heavy."

 

"Pancakes it is!" Mikey exclaimed, raising his hand up in excitement, "I can add anchovies, and Mikey's le especial ingredient."

 

"You better not give that to Donnie, or any of us," Raph expressed, sticking his tongue out at the thought of it.

 

"Fine." Mikey said, pulling out the can of anchovies, and showing the can to Raph. "But you're missing out on it." He said with a gesture, and Raph rolled his eyes on him.

 

"Now hurry up. I'm starving."

* * *

Leo draped the thicket blankets over Donnie. His brother moved but didn't complain, tired brown eyes looked at Leo's.

 

"Go to sleep, bro." Leo told him softly, wiping off the maple syrup that was unseen when he cleaned his brother's mouth after eating his breakfast.

 

Donnie pulled his arm out of the blankets, stretching his fingers to reach his brothers. Leo noticed, and this time he took the offer.

 

It was all that Donnie wanted, and even when his brother started to laugh, Leo did too. It wasn't as loud as Donnie's, but more like a fond chuckle. And even when Donnie's vice-like grip loosened, Leo continued to hold on. It wasn't until Donnie completely fell asleep that Leo released his hand and reached for the infamous teddy bear they had as babies. Leo gently placed the bear in-between Donnie's hands and Don unconsciously nuzzled the bear.

 

Leo started to move away from his brother, and even when he reached the door, he had the sensation of not leaving him. He looked at his brother for one last time, knowing it's best to leave him to sleep…

* * *

"So, Michelangelo," Kirby pushed his plate away as he finished his meal. "I'm no expertise on the subject of brain damage, but Leonardo has told me a bit of Donatello's condition… Do you mind telling me what your brother does in the daily basis? Maybe I can figure this situation out."

 

"Uhmm, no I don't mind." Mikey said in between chews. And Leo came out of Donnie's bedroom and sat next to Raph. "He doesn't really do much. He loves watching Clifford for some reason, though. We've only watched that show when we were toddlers, and Donnie was never interested in that. But every time he does something, usually he needs me or Raph to help him do it."

 

"What do you mean?" Kirby asked, brows furrowing to a worried expression.

 

"He can't talk." Mikey stated, placing the fork on his plate and he hit his finger with the other as he began to list. "Can't bathe. Can't go bathroom. Usually needs help to eat. He's uhh—yeah, he has seizures, but that's usually triggered due to anxiety, I think." Mike told him, attempting to shake off the trembling of his voice, and smacked his lips together to control his emotions.

 

"He's been doing better, though." Raph stepped in as he realized Mikey was avoiding eye contact, and Kirby simply nodded cause he knew it was a touchy subject, but he needed answers. "When Mike brought him home, he didn't really interact with anyone. But he's been smiling, laughing, showing emotions."

 

"Which is good," Kirby answered, "it was a glance, but I saw Donatello's head." He declared, his blue eyes gazing at the table. "I've read on the matter of brain damage, and quite frankly it's not as easy to resolve or even detect. Concussions can repair but still the brain isn't fully healed, or new tissues have formed to fix it. In Donatello's case, doctors would have done some CAT scan, check for trauma and check how their patient act." Kirby said, his voice now whispering because this is Donnie's brother's he's talking to and he knew he had to say this all slowly.

 

"Immediate surgery would've been done, and the brains very fragile, a little _too_ fragile a -and – I'm afraid I have some bad news." Kirby told them leisurely so all the words can process, and he sighed, it wasn't a sigh of exhaustion, but of sadness. Everyone tensed, and for once Mikey wished he wasn't there to listen what he was going to hear next.

 

"I'm sorry, but the trauma of the damage is a great extent due to the fact that Donatello hasn't spoken and the chance of your brother fully recovering is… very low. There's a possibility of your brother staying like this, permanently."

 

No one spoke. The brims of Raph's eyes were flooded with tears, and he roughly rubbed the edges of his eyes. He looked at Leo, unable to point out his emotions, and maybe it was for the best he couldn't point them out, so he looked at Mikey's who tried keeping down his whimpers of sobs.

 

Raph finally looked at Kirby, his words were choked out, his voice suddenly cracked and raspy like his throat was shut. "He's never going to be Donnie?" Raph asked, voice sounding lost. " _Our_ Donnie?"

 

Kirby shook his head, his eyes closed. He didn't spoke, he couldn't.

 

Mikey left the kitchen, uncontrollably sobbing as he entered Donnie's room to only meet his brother sleeping, oblivious to Mike's presence. Mikey wished he went with Donnie that day of his capture, maybe Donnie wouldn't be like this.

* * *

"I have to go." Kirby said, his voice still dull. He put on his black winter coat, and placed his beanie on his head. "April's been really sick, and I told her I was going to be out for less than an hour."

 

"I hope April feels better." Leo told him, his voice drowned to a whisper. "How has she been with… the news?"

 

"Not so well." Kirby replied honestly. "She's been wanting to come to see him, but with the flu she's been having, I don't want her to be near him until she's fully okay and, now we know how Donatello reacts with other people. It's best if we give him some space." The man adjusted his beanie, shoving his fists into his pockets.

 

"Yeah." Leo responded glumly, not sure what to say. He hasn't seen April since Donnie's capture. And since then, April's been the one searching for Donnie in case he was never kidnapped, and somehow managed to escape the fight before they could take him. But April didn't last too long in the blizzard, after Mikey was able to get Donnie home himself, April's father didn't allow her to leave. And days later, she became sick and haven't been able to shake the bug off.

 

"Anyway, call me in case of anything new happens, alright?" Kirby turned to the exit of the lair, huffing at the realization he has to push through the snow to get home.

 

And Leo nodded, watching Kirby leave and all he heard was his snowy footsteps. Leo turned, hearing the grunts of Raph hitting the punching bag in the dojo, and he knew Mikey was in the room with Donnie.

 

Leo looked at the lab doors, forever wishing the lights would be on and to hear the soft racketing of Donnie doing who knows what. Since Donnie's capture, the lab was seamlessly dead. Without his brother in there, the lab had no real point anymore.

 

With a heavy sigh, Leo retreated to his bedroom. Maybe one day everything'll go back to normal, even if that day won't be for a while.

* * *

Mike slowly approached his older brother, his hands touching his shell, and lightly he jolted him. "Wake up buddy, come on." He said in between sobs, and he shook him harder. "Wake up!"

 

Awoke from his brother's shakes, Donnie clutched his bear and looked at his younger brother. He gave a half-sleep oblivious laugh, yawning with drowsy eyes. It just made Mike more upset, his brother didn't even know what was going on, and he didn't even mind being awoken.

 

"Hey, hey." Mike whispered, pressing his forehead against Donnie's softly, he blinked away the tears. Donnie's round eyes looked at his, his face crinkling as tears fell on his face. "You're not damage, bro." He sniffled, and Donnie silently stared at him, as Mikey pulled away. "Kirby's lying… you're fine!"

 

Mikey didn't know if he was making Donnie uncomfortable, or it was the tears falling on his face bothered him, but his brother turned away from him with a soft whine of complaint.

 

"Come on buddy, don't do this to me. Kirby's wrong, y-you're not damaged." Mikey climbed over Donnie's lanky body and flopped next to him. Donnie looked at his blanket, suddenly interested on the fabric and Mikey sniffed before speaking; "… Right?"

 

Donnie, then, stared at him briefly, breaking contact as he gave out another yawn. Mikey didn't want him to sleep, though, but Donnie was always stubborn. He grasped Mikey's left arm, tugging it as he brought the arm next to his bear. Donnie sighed happily, snuggling against his two favorite things.

 

"Alright." Mikey said, his voice broken, "only until you fall asleep that you can have my arm." He joked, smearing away his tears with the right hand.

 

And even when Donnie did fell asleep, Mikey pulled his arm slowly away but didn't leave. He sat up, and through exhausted eyes he looked at Donnie sadly. It was only 11 am, and Mike had no desire to sleep. He picked up the teddy bear in between Donnie's arms, and tossed it to the corner of the bed.

 

His brother didn't need a teddy bear, he was old and – and _mature_ to sleep without one, right? But Don instinctively reached in a desperate search for his bear, and Mikey sighed with a heavy heart and went on his knees to grab the bear back. He pulled up Donnie's arm gently, and placed the bear in-between his arms. Donnie snuggled against it, and Mike stared at the damaged head.

 

It was a realization; his smart brother was gone. There was going to be no more, _"Mikey, don't touch that!"_ and no more of Mikey praising him with, _"Great job, D! Your invention worked!"_

 

The B team died the day Donnie disappeared, and there was no more "A team" or "B team," it was an all-together-team that needed to stay together for what has happened to their brother. And Mikey never realized the separation the two teams have done.

 

And throughout this past month, Mikey never had a sensation of lost hope, not until today…


	6. Chapter 6

Michelangelo pushed the steel door with a grunt, and entered the lab blindly until he found the light switch. He flickered the lights on, and looked at his brother's lab. His heart sunk at all the dust that had been collected throughout the past month. Donnie was the one who cleaned and tidied up the – _his_ – lab. Without him, no one stood forward to enter the lab, and if they did, they never thought twice to clean it up. It was Donnie's job, and no one wanted to replace that.

 

Mikey swallowed a gob of what felt like dry saliva. He hadn't dared himself to enter the lab, it felt like he was trespassing his brother's property, especially since Donnie wasn't there in the first place. This was where he would always go; now it was somewhere he avoided.

 

He shuffled a few steps, looking around like he'd never been in the lab before. – But he knew where everything was, how Donnie would delicately place his chemicals, and half-finished experiments. Mike continued to wander around until his foot hit the red tool box, the black, bold words that said, _Mikey Don't Touch!_

 

But Mike would always touch it, he would always do everything Donnie told him not to do. And now that his brother was …damaged, he contradicted his actions. Donnie couldn't fix _things_ Mikey would break, so now he had to think twice, and be gentler. He had to think twice with mixing chemicals together, and gentler with using the old toaster. Everything that relied on Donnie, was something they were too scared to touch.

 

Mike closed his eyes and exhaled from his nose, he made it sound like his brother was dead. He was sounding like Leo. Irritated, Mikey grabbed the handle of the toolbox, and spun to his heels. He felt uncomfortable being in the one place that he used to love. Everything was different now, and the lost hope continued to settle in his heart.

* * *

"Donnie?" Mike entered the room, slowly, his grip white-knuckled on the handle. He approached the bed where his brother sat and scribbled on a notebook.

 

"Hey, buddy, whatcha doing?" Mikey asked, his voice now louder, and he set the tool box down.

 

Don looked up at him.

 

"Watcha doing?" He asked again, his hand massaging his shell. Donnie glanced at his notebook and showed Mikey his doodles. Mike heart felt like it stopped, "you drew this?" He whispered, wishing that Donnie would have shaken his head, but he nodded.

 

Both Raph and Donnie were great artists, they didn't really use their talent, but when it did, it was marvelous. But this, this bunch of random, nonsense scribbles—they shattered Mikey's heart. This wasn't the Donnie he loved, this was… his brother was never going to be the same, just like Kirby had told them. But he didn't want that to be true.

 

"Come on." He said almost stubborn and gripped Donnie's wrist, pulling his brother up. Donnie complied quietly, he looked up at his brother as he trailed behind.

 

Mikey harshly released his grip, and sat down on the floor. Donnie followed along and sat across from him. Mike opened the tool box, and laid the tools in-between them. Don gawked and then looked back at Mike. Mikey squeezed his shoulder, blue hardened eyes locked on confused brown ones.

 

Mikey's jaw clenched, his hands visibly shaking. He hated the way his brother looked so confused, so oblivious, his face flushed. "Here take this." He shoved the screwdriver on his brother's hand. Donnie held the screwdriver, limply. He released the tool and the screwdriver hit the floor with a _thud_.

 

"Come on, work with me, bro!" Mike cried out and forcefully grabbed Donnie's wrist, and placed the screwdriver in his grasp again. "You used to work with this nearly every day, and now you can't even hold it?!" Mike's tears blurred his vision, and he hiccupped. "Stop acting like that- like you can't do this. It's not that heavy!"

 

His hands wrapped around Donnie's hand to make sure his brother was holding the screwdriver. Mike released, and rubbed his eyes, roughly. "See? You can do it! Now, here." He dug into the tool box, grabbing a piece of wood and various nails. "Do something, smart, science-y. Anything!" He's practically screaming at him, and Donnie almost hid himself in his shell.

 

Tears started to stream down his face, but Mikey kept yelling at _him_.

 

Donnie's grasp on the tool loosened, hitting his leg, but he was more focused on his brother. He used the back of his hand to rub his eyes. Confused on what to do. Mike would never lash out at him.

 

He whimpered and in a fearful attempt, tried comforting Mikey. His hands trembled as he hiccupped tears back. He wanted Mike to stop, it was triggering blurs of memories that he wanted to forget. In both frustration and fear, he reached up to his little brother, in hopes to calm him.

 

Mike didn't allow Donnie to touch him as he shoved him away.

 

"Quit it, Dee!" Mikey said in-between sobs, "J-just stop. You're not _you_ anymore, I – I…" He didn't finish when both Leo and Raph came to what seemed like crashing through the door. All they could see was the tools laid out, and nails everywhere. Mikey was hysterically crying, and Donnie was hunched against the wall.

 

"What's going on?" Leo asked, before Raph could. He opened the door wider, pushing the tools away and walked in between his two youngest brothers. From the corner of his eye, Leo could see the fallen screwdriver by Donnie's figure. There was a brightly red stain by it, and Leo's gaze hardened.

 

Mike didn't answer. Raph stepped from behind Leonardo and towards Donnie to check on him.

 

"Mikey, what are you doing?" He looked at all the tools, and wordlessly pushed them away from Donnie.

 

"I – I" Mikey sputtered in a heap of helplessness. He couldn't answer – he couldn't —not when sobs shook his body to its very core, not when Donnie wasn't — _wouldn't_ ever be—another whimper escaped him. He didn't want to think of that – he didn't want to think of his brother any different.

 

Before Leo could ask another question, he turned to find Raph carrying Donnie out in fireman style. Leo gave a firm nod towards Raph, Leo didn't want Donnie to listen.

 

Leo closed the door, and folded his arms. He waited for Mikey to calm down to speak to him. But after seconds turned to minutes, Leo's face softens and he knelt by Mikey. Mike looked at him, eyes filled with tears, and finally answered. "I – I, I'm sorry." He sniveled, and the tears continued to roll down his cheeks.

 

"I didn't mean for this to happen." He softly whispered, and Leo believed him, because Mikey would never act this way purposefully. Leo sat on the ground, looking at the tools. It didn't take a genius to understand the situation.

 

"You gave him the tools for Donnie to do something with them, right?"

 

Mike gaped at him like the whole world had frozen. He sniffled, and closed his eyes out of shame, and nodded.

 

"Mikey it's-"

 

Mikey unexpectedly jumped into his arms. His sobs rose again, and he buried his face into Leo's shoulder blade. "I want Donnie back!" He cried suddenly, "I want him to be normal, and for him to _speak_. I – _Leo_." Leo found himself embracing his brother back, hushing him like he's done to Donnie. His throat closed, and he lost himself for words.

 

He wanted his brother back too, but there was no way – no chance ...

 

"I know." Leo whispered, bringing Mikey close to him as possible. "I miss him too, but – but Donnie, he's here. We just – we're still adapting, it'll take time."

 

Leo pressed a kiss on Mikey's head, and Mike's sobs lowered. Leo closed his eyes and once again whispered, "it'll take time."

 

Normal wasn't a thing for them anyway.

* * *

"Are you okay?" Raph asked when he sat Donnie on the couch and was inspecting for any wounds. His brother gave a pout, and shook then nodded his head.

 

Raph looked conflicted. "That isn't an answer." He told him flatly. "Are you hurt?" He asked, this time his voice softened. Donnie was still smart, in some ways, he only responded to someone if they did it right, and acting gruff wasn't right in Donnie's book.

 

This time Donnie did a timid nod, but then turned and pointed behind the couch. Raph's eyes followed, and instantly he grabbed Donnie's wrist, softly but firmly. "Mikey needs some time." He said gruff, now wanting to know where he was hurt, and inspecting his limbs as he talked. "Now, where is it?"

 

Donnie extended his right leg and crossed it over his left. Raph skimmed his leg and a nasty welt, just on his thigh, was sluggishly bleeding. Raph couldn't point his finger at Mikey, even though his brother was upset or angry, or both, he would never hurt his brother on purpose. Donnie must've hurt himself.

 

Raph's hand covered the wound, he wasn't even touching the cut, and Donnie jerked his leg in an instant. "It hurts, huh?" He gave out a pout, the same face Donnie was doing, and this Donnie made a more noticeable nod.

 

"Let me get a bandage, okay?" Raph would _never_ act this soft for this long, but Donnie only gave out a small laugh and nodded more eagerly.

 

To Donnie's eyes, Raph was the _sweetest_ brother ever, and Raph couldn't let that down. Not even if it ruined his pride.

* * *

It didn't take too long for Raph to grab a Band-Aid and to only come back to find his brother missing. Raph's heart did some sort of sunken, skipped, fast beat. Donnie was never alone, not unless he was sleeping.

 

"Donnie?" Raph cried out, and he took a few daring steps forward, his grip on the Band-Aid tightened.

 

There was no answer.

 

Raph started to fast walk now. "Donnie, where the heck did you go?" His heart deafened his ears, and he didn't know where to go. He felt like he was going to have a panic attack. His hands started to sweat, and nearly called for his brothers' when he walked by the rooms, only to see Donnie sitting by the door.

 

Raph let out his breath, subconsciously holding it in and knelt to hug his brother. "Donnie," Raph said with a grunt, but he knew he shouldn't get mad at him. "Hey, no walking off like that!" Raph told him, perhaps a little too harshly. But the chance of another seizure relapse scared the heck out of him.

 

And the fact that Donnie wanders, and could leave the lair without knowing where he's going, scared him too. Raph never felt like this before. He never realized how much he was protecting Donnie since he came home.

 

Donnie pushed him, which made Raph come back to reality, and then Donnie pointed at the handle of the door. Voices muffled through the other side, but this was Donnie's room, so Raph wasn't invading _anyone's_ personal space.

 

Raph released his hold on his brother, and grabbed the handle. Donnie grasped Raph's arm and used it to lift himself off the floor. Raph turned the handle, knocked roughly once, and went, "we're coming in."

* * *

"I don't know… I just wanted everything to be okay… to be normal." Mike words were muffled against Leo's shoulder, and his body slacked.

 

Leo silently listened to him, he felt the same way, he avoided Donnie because he feared change. He didn't know what to do with the situation at hand, and even when he apologized, it just wasn't the same.

 

"Mikey…" Leo said in a whisper, and his heart stiffened when Mikey clutch tightened. "We don't have to make everything normal, again. All _we_ need to do is be there for him." Mikey looked up at him, eyes glossed. He sniffled, and Leo rubbed his head.

 

"I know it's been hard for you, and I'm sorry I haven't been the best brother. But I won't do _that_ again." Mike gave him a watery smile, and released his death grip. Leo exhaled, but tried not making it noticeable for Mike.

 

"Yeah that was pretty stupid of you, dude." Mikey laughed, and rubbed his eyes, reality hitting him. "I just feel bad, now." Mike whispered, and stared at his lap. He sat back on the floor. "I think Donnie's scared of me." He pouted, and folded his arms to give himself a hug. "I didn't mean to scare him," his voice drowned to a murmur, "I just wanted him to do something the old Don would do, y'know?"

 

"Yeah I know." Leo's smile faltered; "I understand, completely understand. Just know that Donnie's still here with us."

 

"Yeah, –" Mike wavered, hearing a voice, Raph's voice, right outside the door. There was a rough knock, and Mike jumped up and wiped his tears.

 

_"_ _We're coming in."_

 

Leo and Mike stared silently at each other, before both started to clean up the tools and nails. Raph came in with a reluctant Donnie, before Raph could say a word, Donnie pushed past him and plopped down on his bed.

 

"Nerd wanted to come here." Raph said, and watched as Donnie rub his eyes. "Pretty sure he's tired."

 

Mike bowed his head and his lips fastened shut. Leo wordlessly continued to clean up the mess, and Mikey sat on the edge of the bed.

 

Raph walked past Leo, and sat by Donnie. Don kicked his legs back and forth, and Raph chuckled. "Calm down, will ya?"

 

His hands approached his brother's right leg, pushing it down so he can rest it on the bed. "I need to patch you up."

 

Mikey turned to look at Raph, "he got hurt?" He asked in shock, his lips tugging to a frown.

 

Raph placed the bandage on Donnie's cut, and shrugged. "Yeah, but he's fine. It was a small cut, nothing too bad."

 

Mike looked at Donnie, sadly.

 

Leo calmly touched Mikey's shoulder, "I'm going to put this away." He gestured the tool box, and as Mikey nodded, he left the room within seconds.

 

"I'm sorry, Donnie." Mikey finally spoke, and Donnie was still lying on his shell. Mike approached him. "I didn't mean for you to get hurt." Raph helped Donnie sit up, and Donnie simply stared at him. He didn't laugh nor smiled, just stared like he never met him before. Raph draped his arms around Donnie, and Don looked at him.

 

"Come on, give him a hug." He cheered on, and Donnie nodded and shook his head. "Just do it." He whispered, and gave Donnie a nudge.

 

Leo came back to the room, and quietly sat next to Raph, who slowly released his hold on Donnie.

 

Donnie cautiously scooted forward, and he wasn't sure where to put his arms. Simply, he raised both his arms and wrapped it around Mikey's neck and pulled him towards him.

 

Mike groaned with an, "Ouh." And patted Donnie shell. Don laughed, and squeezed Mikey a little too tight for his liking. Mikey was all for hugs, and even _he_ smothered people in his hugs, but he felt like he was choking.

 

"Thank you, buddy." Mike choked out, and cocked his head to Donnie's side in hope he would release the strong hold, but he didn't. Mike looked up at him. "Uh…You can let go now."

 

Donnie didn't, and Raph had to come in and make Donnie remove his lanky arms from Mikey. Mike rubbed the back of his neck, but his smile didn't falter. He placed his hands from behind, and felt something soft. He whirled around to find Donnie's stuff bear discarded on the end of the bed and reached it.

 

"Hey buddy, look!" He shook the bear like he was trying to give a dog their attention. Donnie immediately grinned, and took the bear off Mikey's hands.

 

"Aww, Dee, you really love that bear, right guys?" Mike's grin wasn't as wide as Donnie's, but it was close to it. Raph rubbed Donnie's shell, and Leo nodded towards Mikey.

 

Don grabbed the bear by its arm, and pulled it up where everyone can see. He then proceeded to bring the bear to his chest and gave it a hard-crushing hug, like he did to Mike a few minutes ago.

 

His brown eyes lit up, and mouth opened.

 

Mike was about to speak, but he was beaten.

 

"Be-bear!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued. Please let me know if you are enjoying this story so far. Thank you!


	7. Chapter 7

It was only two in the afternoon and it was dead silent. Raph found it weird. They were ninjas, and quietness was their thing, but with Donnie, nothing was quiet anymore.

 

 There would be rambunctious yelling, tantrums, and fighting for the most ridiculous things. Like how Donnie wanted to bring that stupid bear he adored so much into the dojo, but Leo wouldn’t let Donnie bring it in. And Donnie, being more stubborn than Raph at times, threw a fit, and caused a scene. (Ending up with him bringing that bear ‘cause Donnie was no loser). His point was, the lair was anything but quiet nowadays, so it baffled Raph when he stepped into the living room to see nobody.

 

 Raph turned to the T.V., all gray and fuzzy and sighed. They didn’t know how to fix things, things that would break and Donnie would always be on top of it, and finish before they can even blink. And now, some manual book they’ve found in Donnie’s drawer was all they had to fix everything broken. No one was good at what Donnie did best, and no one was relying at anyone to fix it. They tried, but the toaster ended up more broken than it was the first time.

 

 Raph walked towards the T.V., his face anything but uplifting. It wasn’t in his department to fix anything that was Donnie’s… but his bro couldn’t do it. And Raph wouldn’t put him at risk for something he probably didn’t remember doing.

 

A clank came from behind the TV. _It better not be mice or roaches._ Raph thought fighting a shudder. He circled around the damaged TV and his eyes grew double in size. “Donnie!” Out of reflex, he pulled his brother out of the small space.

 

“Donnie, what the heck were you doing?” Raph asked, his hand running through his face in sudden anxiety. Why was he in there? Why was he screwing up with the T.V?

 

 Donnie looked up at him and grinned in an instance. “Raphie!”

 

 “Donnie, bro, what were you doing?” He asked again, frustration and worry settled on his wrinkly forehead.

 

 “Help!” Donnie said, and he rubbed his face just like Raph, but his hands were all smudged which had Donnie have a faint, but noticeable smeared hand print on his cheek to forehead. “Fix.” He added and pointed to the T.V. with an indistinct grin. 

 

“Donnie, you can’t-" Raph went on his knees, and grabbed Donnie’s hands, pulling it away from his face. “You’re all dirty.” He said flatly and scanned his hands in case he hurt himself. It was so easy to get himself hurt, but it was just dirt and not blisters and open wounds. “Did you hurt yourself?” He still asked because maybe he got electrocuted and there was no visible wound.

 

 

“No.” Came the quiet reply, and then his voice rose, “Clifford! Stopped… fix!” Donnie pouted, and Raph was trying to connect two and two with his choppy sentences. The T.V. broke while watching Clifford, and he tried to fix it. He nodded to himself in approval, it was the one that made sense.  

 

 

“Where’s Mikey? Who was watching you?” Raph asked, not caring about the T.V. at all. Donnie was supervised at all times, since he does things like this, and shouldn’t be alone. There was so many what if’s, if Raph haven’t come to check on the T.V... he didn't want to think about it.

 

 

“Sleeping.” Donnie tugged on his wrist. “Fix… T.V.! Clifford…” He whined, brown eyes drowning in tears. “Raphie…” 

 

“Donnie.” Raph’s gruff voice made Donnie quiet, and he looked at the smudged hands. “Why were you trying to fix the T.V.? You could’ve called me, or wake Mikey up, or have Leo come out of the dojo. What made you think you could fix it?” Raph felt Donnie’s hand crept on his, and he squeezed it.

 

 

“I can.” His voice small and innocent, and Raph’s heart spun in sudden sympathy. “Fix… I do—that.” Donnie claimed, his eyes anywhere but to Raph. He could fix things, he did it all the time, and now it was suddenly wrong? He didn’t know why though, they were always dodging the questions.

 

 

Raph made eye contact to him, green eyes to brown. Furious to sad ones. “Look, buddy, you can’t do that.” He said flatly, and he could see the pain in his brother’s eyes. Raph wasn’t good at this, he wasn’t one to make someone feel better. He didn’t have that natural raw talent of being good with kids like Mike and Leo. Raph swallowed a lump, he didn't want to hurt his brother's feelings — more than they already were, that is.

 

Donnie’s mouth woven shut in thought. Raph got up and Donnie stayed on his spot. “C’mon, Donnie, let’s go clean you up. You’re gonna get all dirty if you keep using your hands to rub your face.”

 

Donnie shook his head, eyes closing in frustration.

 

Raph bit the inside of his cheek and pinched the skin in between his eyes. “Donnie…” He complained, but in the corner of his eye, he saw Leo coming towards them. In a quick swift, he turned to Leo.

 

“Were you supposed to be taking care of Donnie?” Raph asked, and Donnie gave the two the infamous puppy eyes.

 

“No.” Leo said all calm and easy, “But, I heard you yelling, so I came to check if everything’s okay?”

 

Raph wanted to say yes because he can totally fix this situation. But Donnie couldn’t handle the yells he would throw, and this Donnie wasn’t used to Raph tactics.

 

 

“No…” Raph said all lame and peered at Donnie. “Donnie was trying to fix the T.V., and could’ve hurt himself.” Anger flooded on his face, “he kept messin’ with the wires!”

 

 

Leo pushed Raph away from Donnie, since Donnie understood most of the words they’ve said, he didn’t need Donnie listening to him. “I’ll talk to him. I think he just remembers fixing stuff and thinks he can do that again. He doesn’t even know about the brain damage, Raph.” Leo whispered to him, and patted his shoulder with a soft smile. “Go wake up Mikey so he can make breakfast, and I’ll talk to Donnie, okay?”

 

 

A mumble of, “okay” and Raph left the common room area. Leo turned to Donnie, smiling to his younger brother.

 

 

“Hey Donnie.”

 

 

“Hi Lee.” Donnie mumbled and turned to him. “Fix!” He pointed to the T.V. and Leo sat down next to him.

 

 

“Yeah, I heard. You wanted to fix the T.V. huh?” Leo set a hand on his knee as a way to comfort him.

 

 

“Yeah!” Donnie grinned and turned his head to the T.V. then back to Leo several times before speaking again. “Fix! I help!”

 

 

Leo’s smile faltered, “I’m glad you tried helping, Donnie, but if you’re gonna get hurt, I don’t think you should do it.”

 

 

Donnie’s mouth opened, but he closed and pouted his bottom lip. “But…” He started, and ducked his head away, “I fix…”

 

 

“You  _used_  to fix, bro.” Leo said flatly, and he sat by Donnie, pinching his cheeks and making Donnie look at him. “You don’t have to do everything the old you did, we’re not looking for that. Do what you want, be who you are now, not something you think you are okay?” His brown eyes doused in tears again, and the black smudge was running down his chin like makeup.

 

 

“Okay, Lee.” He whispered, and came closer to him to place his head against his chest. Donnie stared at the broken T.V., memories of mostly blurs but Donnie remembered fixing the television.

 

 

Donnie slouch his shoulders, they were a team, and Donnie felt like he wasn’t a part of it anymore.

 

* * *

 

 

Donnie feared for the night to come. Papa’s been talking about going back to patrol to his brothers and he didn’t like that feeling in his gut about it.

 

 

“Mike?” Donnie’s voice was low and sad. “Where… go?” he asked, as he watched him put the two weapons—chucks on his belt.

 

 

“Hey.” Mike sat down with him, and Donnie fidgeted with his fingers. “Don’t worry, buddy, we’re just going to be out for like an hour, maybe two. But we’ll be back!” He beamed a smile, and Donnie smiled back.

 

 

“I go too.” He told him and reached for his bear. “Bee wan’ go too.”

 

 

Mike’s ‘uhh’ was with hesitation and exasperation. “… You can’t, bud. You need to sleep, dude.”

 

 

Donnie frowned once again, “but… be alone…”

 

 

“Nah,” Donnie watched him wave like it was no big deal. But Mike doesn’t have the same feeling as him, and he didn’t understand his pain, “Sensei’s gonna be here with you.”

 

 

“Papa?”

 

 

“Yeah, dude! And Leo, Raphie and I are only gone for a few hours. Once we’re back, you won't even notice we're gone” Donnie played with his bear, before putting his attention to Mikey. His lips out with an exasperated pout. He studied Mikey’s hopeful face and smiled.

 

 

“Promise?”

 

 

Mike leaned in and pressed his forehead against Donnie’s. “I promise, dude. Mark my words.”

 

 

Donnie nodded at him, like he was the boss, and only he can tell Mikey if it was okay to leave. And Mikey would never would lie to him, he’s gonna come, and Donnie had trust.

 

 

Even when they all left the lair, and it was just the two of them, Mikey was never a liar. He turned to face Papa with a small gleeful smile. 

* * *

 

 

“My son,” Splinter said to him, and once Donnie smiled, he smiled too. “Maybe, it is time for you to sleep, Donatello”

 

 

Donnie whirled around and went, “Mike?” And he pointed to the exit, “Waiting.”

 

 

“Donatello, your brothers will be back soon. You must go to bed.” Splinter told him and placed his hand on his shoulder and gave it a squeeze.

 

 

“Okay, Papa…” Splinter’s ears went down at the name, his sons used to call him that when they were only toddlers.

 

 

“How about if we watch television before going to bed?” He asked, and Donnie bounced in his place, but stopped with a small frown.

 

 

“No.” Don whispered, “b’oken.”

 

 

Splinter arched an eyebrow, and looked at the T.V. It was off, but the T.V. was pushed forward, and some wires were out. “Did you try to fix it, my son?”

 

 

“Yeah, Papa.” Donnie told him, and he grabbed his arm, “I fix!”

 

 

Splinter glanced at him and gave him a mischievous smile. “Indeed, you do, my son.” 

 

* * *

 

 

Their faces were flushed with exhaustion. After months of being stored inside, the three of them were relieved to be out and could make their lives as normal as possible. Even when they were missing one brother, and they couldn’t split up anymore—it was kind of like the old times. Goofing around and eating pizza, but they wouldn't call it normal, not without Donnie.

 

 

“Dudes, it was a fun night.” Mike told his two brothers, and he entered the lair.

 

 

“Yeah, but only because tonight was just training doesn’t mean all nights will be fun.” Leo jumped over the turnstile, and strolled in the lair. Donnie and maybe Master Splinter were asleep, and they didn’t need to explain themselves why they were being so noisy.

 

 

“Way to ruin the fun, Leo.” Raph said, “fighting bad guys are fun too, what are you talking about?” he asked, as he ducked under the turnstile, and crossed his arms.

 

 

“I’m talking about that we haven’t fought without Donnie. I mean, yes, but Donnie  _hacks_ and  _helps_  when he’s not fighting. It’s not gonna be easy without him.” Leo stated, they all knew, but they never saw the day of the snow stopping and the kind of sunny spring coming out. New York’s Spring was still chilly.

 

 

“Of course not, Leo.” Raph said, “we need you too, and me and even Mikey.” He pointed at Mike, and noticed he was focusing on something, but ignored it. “So, it’s not going to be easy, but we’ll figure out a way.”

 

 

Before Leo can speak, Mikey interrupted their conversation.

 

 

“Bros?”

 

 

Both Leo and Raph’s heart skipped a beat. When Mikey’s voice got like that, questionable and small, they worry something happened to Donnie—but Donnie was in bed…

 

 

“What is it, Mike?” Leo asked, stepping towards him.

 

 

“Did any of you two left the T.V. on?”

 

 

“No? Raph?” Leo turned to Raph, and so did Mikey. They’ve left the T.V. on several times, but this wasn’t making sense.

 

 

“I didn’t.” Raph said, “I turned it off after the Nerd tried fixing it.” He jabbed a thumb towards Donnie’s room and walked towards his two brothers.

 

“Well, it’s on Donnie’s channel, and it wasn’t working before, you don’t think…?” Mikey left his sentence unfinished, eying his brothers with curiosity.

 

 

“It was Sensei.” Raph waved a hand like it was nothing. He knew for a fact that Splinter can’t fix technological stuff, but it couldn’t be…no.

 

 

“It was not I, my sons.” Splinter came out of nowhere, and his hands were behind his back, and they could see his teeth in that smile of his. He stood behind Raph and Leo, eyes twinkling in happiness. 

 

 

“Then…” Mikey looked at the T.V. his heart jumping in happiness and confusion. “Do you think it was…?”

 

 

The T.V. illumined in the dark, the volume was on a low setting, but to them everything was loud and clear.

 

 

… Donnie.  

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for sticking with me throughout this story. It’s been fun, but sadly this is the end. Now before you go begging for more, hear me out. I’m not the best with long fanfics, and I made it short before it becomes repetitive and boring. Hopefully this chapter answers most questions, and if not then send a request on my Tumblr: fevertowrite, dudes. Love you!


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